Just sex
by Advazzz
Summary: They've being doing it for almost two months. It can happen two or three times a week, sometimes more, sometimes not at all. Almost always it starts with a text message and ends up in bed. It usually happens in the middle of the night or late evening, when one of them feels the need. No emotions, just pure, physical need. It's become a necessary habit. - complete!
1. Just Sex

**I've changed the beginning of season six, hope you enjoy it, like I did when I wrote it.**

 **Special thanks to Lily Moonlight for being there, as always :)**

 **JUST SEX**

Just sex. They've being doing it for almost two months. It can happen two or three times a week, sometimes more, sometimes not at all. Almost always it starts with a text message and ends up in bed. It usually happens in the middle of the night or late evening, when one of them feels the need. No emotions, just pure, physical need. It's become a necessary habit. Like oxygen.

 _"Are you at home?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"I'm coming over"._

Just sex. Yes, it hadn't happened for him for almost two years but he doesn't care, now it gives him something to live for. It meets his needs, finally _his_ needs. He hadn't missed it - work was always first - but now, he can't stop it, he doesn't want to stop it. When his wife lived, he lived for her, then the towers fell and work came to be his priority. It still is but now he feels so much happier.

Just sex. Her body needs it too. Over the years she has suffered so much disappointment that the dream of being happy, _really_ happy, had almost gone. Now it's only her and herself. No, she doesn't feel used, she just lives for the moment. She doesn't need something else, just this warmness every couple of days.

Just sex. The trigger was the night they were all shot at. They spent the rest of that night in the hospital, with Lindsay, worried sick about Danny. The moment they knew the outcome, he went back to the office to collect notes from _their_ crime scene, while she stayed with Danny so Lindsay could rest a little. The next night they met again, at her apartment. They talked for hours about how much worse the situation could have been. They understood what could have been, what they had almost lost forever, and then it happened. One kiss and the rest is history.

Just sex. Pregnancy isn't welcome so she takes the pill, although she didn't at the beginning. The first time they met after she started to, he opened the drawer to take _his_ protection _,_ then she touched his hand and smiled. He understood. Since then it's become much easier, more enjoyable. They've increased the play they are playing. The fire.

Just sex. When he comes to her, he always knocks at the door. Yes he has his keys to her apartment, as he always has, but when he arrives for _that_ purpose he always knocks. She knows his knocks, the truth is, she can sense his steps the second he touched her hallway's floor, but she waits until his fingers make the sound that has the power to make her feel tense and calm altogether. She will never be tired of seeing his shy smile when she opens the door for him.  
To help him calm, she moves aside without a word, so he can let himself in. Then she closes the door to the rest of the world.  
Inside her apartment, he can let go of his shell- okay, not let go completely, but yes, release from it for a couple of hours. He loves to be in her space, the woman who no one knows like he does.  
He doesn't really have a good eye for interior decoration but he sure loves hers. The soft colors of the walls make him feel relaxed and peaceful. Her living room has some art on the walls, and is divided into two parts. In one part she has a little library, where she keep her books in the upper shelf and in the lower one. And on the middle shelf she has pictures of herself from college, her friends from work, and even a few pictures from her childhood. From all those pictures you see her shining green eyes and that smile; the smile that makes you smile back at her like magic. In the second part of the room stands her big couch, one arm chair and the TV.  
The kitchen is in front of her entrance door, it's not big, but he knows she loves to cook, bake and entertain, so when she entered it, it become her private world. In the space between the library and the kitchen, you can see the corridor to her bedroom and bathroom.

Just sex. She is always surprised at how clean his house is. Not because she thinks he isn't a clean man, but because she doesn't think he has time to clean his own home. Maybe he hires somebody to clean it for him…But would he really give somebody _else_ permission to enter his private place?  
She loves his home. It has always made her feel protected, even before she knew his bed. How many times have they shared a takeout in his kitchen's table? How many times have they watched a creepy movie on his sofa? How many discussions have they had in his kitchen, cooking together for the team, until one of them knocked on the door and they had to stop talking like parents who argue but not-in-front-of-the-children? Innumerable times. It feels like home when she's here, but it isn't, it will never be.

Just sex. They haven't talked about it with each other. It's like they have a secret language between them, with a chemistry no one can copy. It's surprised them how easy it has been; how they can meet in the office the next morning with nothing in their expressions to reveal what just happened a few hours before. Business as usual, work as always, a friendship no one can experience. It's not like they have a romantic relationship that involves sex, it is just the sex.

Just sex. No one knows, no one needs to know. Neither of them talks about it or mentions it at work, or when they meet as friends. They won't allow themselves to even think about it. They are still the best team, more now than ever, so why even mention it? Besides, everyone else is dealing with their own frustrations after what happened in the bar, so when they all meet, they are focused on solving this case. Especially him, when he isn't with her _, in_ her.

Just sex. One little thing has changed in her, it's just one thing she doesn't understand. Before this all started, she could read his mind like an open book. Every movement, every emotion, every look in his eyes. But now it's different and she can't put her finger on the reason why. When they meet for _that_ reason, in bed, it's like her mind is erased, it's empty, numb. She can feel her body, _his_ body, and his touches on her body, but she can't read his thoughts. Maybe it's because he is so good, and so attentive to her cries, to her delight, she can't even think about something else. But maybe it is something else, she doesn't know yet. Anyway she never stays at him until the morning to try figure it out, when he wake up the next day, she already gone. By the way, he does the same at hers, disappeared into thin air by sunrise.

Just sex. There are moments he can stay in one position forever - when she lean in to him, putting her palm on his cheek, softly touching his ear with her fingers, holding his jaw, when they kiss… It makes him feel so unbelievably good. _She_ makes him feel so good. Of course he knows it's only the friendship they've shared for more than ten years. But that feeling takes him back to the time before 9/11. A feeling so realistic it's like he is nine years younger, but the woman in his arms now is his closest partner.

Just sex. It doesn't stop them from going out on dates with others. It's part of their life, it doesn't bother them to try new relations with other people. Although none of those dates succeed, they keep trying, and maybe one of them will end this circle. Maybe they aren't sure they want to end it but their heads keep trying to wonder.

Just sex. Mac and Stella are sleeping with each other, but it's just sex.

 ** _Will it last forever?_**


	2. Could I have this kiss forever?

_**I wasn't going to continue this story- when I wrote the first chapter, but I changed my mind. Here we go...**_

 ** _Thanks to my dear Lily Moonlight as always!_**

 ** _*Word in italics surrounded by double quotes taken directly from the episode (6X01)._**

 **Chapter 2: Could I have this kiss forever?**

 _"Can't sleep…are you still at the office?"_

 _"Yes"._

 _"Do you want to come over after you call it a day?"_

 _"One more hour, do you think you'll be sleeping then?"_

 _"Don't think so, I'll be waiting"._

Mac didn't notice how the time passed, one hour felt like 5 minutes.

Just one last look at the evidences before leaving for Stella's, and ending that horrible day. A day that hadn't brought them any new clue or hint on the person who wanted to kill them all. He was frustrated. Mac looked at his watch, almost 2:30 in the morning.

Suddenly a phone call broke his thoughts.

It was Danny.

After a quick chat, Mac took his coat and left his office.

On the way to Danny, he sent Stella a message-

 _"I'm not coming today, sorry for leaving you awake."_

 _"Good night"._

Stella didn't bother asking him why he was not coming. She guessed, he had decided to stay at the office working the case until dawn, like he had done the last 4 days. Or maybe at last the tiredness had defeated him and finally he was resting on his office's couch. She didn't even image where he was really going.

XXXCSINYXXX

The next day Stella came to Mac's office but he wasn't there, she looked at his walls, all the boards that surrounded his table, all the broken glasses… it was a total mess.

Mac entered his office looking at a file in his hand. He noticed her presence and she turned to face him.

 _"You used to file unsolved cases in a single folder on the corner of your desk."_

He took a big breath, _"Yeah, well, none of those cases put someone I know in a wheelchair or threatened the lives of people I care about. None of those cases was personal."_

 _"Mac, what happened last night? You and Danny, no backup, no head up? Not to mention it was dangerous."_

 _"I've being studying these walls for the past three weeks, trying to answer one question - who had a reason to want one of us or all of us dead? Despite all this evidences, crime reports, possible suspects, witness accounts, I'm no closer to the identity of the shooter than the night it happened. Three people were seriously wounded, the bartender died, Danny is in that chair! So, when he called…"_

 _"…You had to do something"._

 _"Damn right. What is Shakespeare say? 'Tempt not a desperate man'. Going to that building seemed like my only option"._

 _"You keep using words like, my, me, I… You are not in this alone, Mac."_

His face gave away his agreement. The case was taking all his power. He wanted to say sorry about how he had acted but he really was desperate. In addition he felt sorry for not coming yesterday, he had needed it, too. But a phone call interrupted his mind.

 _"Taylor. What?"_ He ended the call and turned to Stella _"It's happened again"._

XXXCSINYXXX

After a very tense 24 hours they did it again. They best team in New York City succeeded in solving the case, their case.

Stella passed near Mac's office and stopped, she saw him collect the evidence and putting it in the boxes. She took the decision to enter his office and helped him to arrange his office back to what it used to be, an office.

She smiled at him, he noticed her, and they shared the same look of comprehension as she closed the distance between them. Yes, they finally found the people who had shot them at the bar. They had worked hard to solve this case, and in the end they succeeded, like they always had.

 _Maybe things are going to be back to what it used to be, before the shooting_?

No words were needed here. Stella simply picked up some files and put them in the box in front of her. Mac was happy she helped him, knowing that soon everything would be back in its proper place.

 _Now he is at peace again. So why continue their night meetings?_

After a few minutes an idea come to Stella's head and she broke the silence.

"Do you want to share a takeout and watch a movie, at my place?" she said without even looking at him.

He froze for a second, and then continue putting files in a box, "Maybe…" he said while smiling mischievously, but she didn't see his expression.

"Oh, come on, Mac" she said looking straight at him, stopping what she was doing, "Only dinner and a movie." She opened her eyes wide and waited to hear his response.

He couldn't refuse, he didn't want to. After the past few days he didn't want to be alone. And anyway he was supposed to have been _with her_ before he received the call from Danny the other night.

He turned his head to her and smiled "Okay…" Before he asked " _Only_ dinner and a movie?" and narrowed his eyes.

Stella lifted her two fingers like the Scouts saying "Promise".

It took them two hours to put everything in the boxes, 20 minutes later they got to her apartment.

Mac looked through her DVDs trying to find a good movie while Stella changed into some cozy pajamas - she had been longing all day to take her work clothes off and put on some comfortable ones.

A knock at the door took Mac's attention and he put down the movies he had chosen.

Stella heard her main door closed and said from the bedroom "I hope the food is here, I'm starving."

Mac opened the paper bag asking, "How long since you last ate? There's food here for 5 people at least".

"Funny". She appeared from the corridor.

Mac loved teasing her and seeing her get mad. He grinned. "The truth is, I'm starving too". He put the food on the table in front of the TV and showed her the movies he had chosen. "'Ocean's 11' or 'The fast and the furious'"?

"You know I love George Clooney", she told him while taking two glasses from the kitchen.

Mac nodded and added with a smile "Why do I bother anyway?" He sat in the sofa after putting the chosen DVD in the player.

They ate and laughed sitting next to each other on her big couch. After it all, they really needed a movie to forget all the little pieces of the last case. You could hear the rain through the windows but in Stella's house, there was warm and enjoyable night, and just two best friends hanging out with each other.

Suddenly the power went off. And everything was dark, they couldn't see anything.

"You got to be kidding me!" Stella begin to curse also -in a different language, Mac knew it was Greek.

"Don't worry, I'll fix it, I'm going to look at the distribution board."

Carefully, Mac got up and went to check the board with the light in his cell phone. Stella found a few candles she had just in case.

"I think it's not only here, seems like there's a problem in the area. Your board is perfectly fine".

Stella lit a number of candles around the living room. The shadows of their figures appeared on the walls, like they were dancing together. Mac closed the board and went to sit again on the couch. He looked at Stella's image, she stopped just for a second to gather her hair so it wouldn't catch in the candle flame. She always had such a delicate motion although she tried to hide it. She noticed he was staring at her, and she tried to finish fast to join him.  
After she lit the last candle and put it on the table, she didn't pay too much attention and bumped into Mac's legs. He tried to catch her but in vain, she fell right on top of him. Her hands found a place on his shoulders.

"Ouch".

"Sorry".

They stayed in that position, looking at each other's eyes, smiling those stupid smiles of how the hell did we get to this situation?

Their faces were inches away, they could feel each other's breath.

Mac moved a single curl from her forehead with his free hand, then his attention returned to Stella's eyes. The candles weren't the only thing that burn in the room.

Time stopped.

"Are you going to kiss me?"

He stared.

"Do you want me to kiss you?"

Her lips curled upwards. She couldn't stop looking at his ocean eyes, wondering again what his mind was thinking right now.

Then Mac lifted his head just a little and his lips met Stella's.

It was so gentle, so light. Stella felt an electric wave passing through her spine.

They had _never_ kissed so slowly, really enjoying the taste of each other. Mac's hands went to her back, embraced it, making her understand he wanted more than just a kiss, but not like before, not rushing to the conclusion.

 _Something changed?_ Maybe the cause that brought them to this physical attraction is now over? Maybe they didn't need it as an excuse anymore?

They continued to kiss and did not even notice when the power came back on.

Stella cupped his cheek, the position that made him weak and deepened the kiss.

But Mac got scared. His body wanted to go further like it always did, but his heart told him he shouldn't, that he hadn't come here for that purpose.

 _What is wrong with you?_ He scolded himself.

He slowly disconnected from her lips. Trying to fight the turbulence inside himself.

Stella still with her eyes closed, stayed in place, lips in the air, she already missed his touch. She slowly opened her eyes and looked straight at his, wondering.

"Mac…"

"Sorry, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

It took her by surprise but she nodded and slowly got up and straightened herself, leaving him the space he needed to stand up straight too.

Stella knew she broke her promised, but she hadn't been alone in doing so. And it was because she couldn't control herself, her body needed his touches, every single one of them.

Mac got up from the couch, took his coat, glanced at her, opened the door and left.

 **TBC**

 ** _I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I would love to hear your opinion, don't forget to review :)_**


	3. Feel

**Thank you for your lovely comments!**

 **Here's the new chapter, I hope you enjoy it! The next chapter will be published very soon (promise!)**

 **Thank you Lily Moonlight for your time and help! :D**

 ** _*Word in italics surrounded by double quotes taken directly from the episode (6x02)_**

 **Chapter 3: Feel**

Mac approached Flack from behind. It had been quite some time since Jessica's death and it was clear Don wasn't well. He didn't shave every day, he no longer wore his usual suits, he didn't come to meetings on time… he was heartbroken and Mac knew it.

 _"Don…"_

Don Flack was distracted in his thoughts, so much so he didn't even hear Mac calling his name.

Mac got closer to the younger detective _"Don?"_

Don turned in surprise to Mac " _Hey, Mac, didn't hear you pull up."_ Don removed his sunglasses and let them hang on his shirt.

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _"Yeah… I'm fine"._

 _"When was the last time you slept?"_ Mac asked, worried.

Don patted Mac's shoulder, smiling. _"I'm fine, move over here"._ Don led Mac to their new case.

Mac looked at Flack and, he was worried, very worried. He knew the change in Don's behavior was because of Jessica's death, because he knew what it was like to lose forever someone you love so much. To find love, real love is not easy.

Mac knew he needed to help Don, somehow, but right now they had a new crime scene to deal with.

Hawkes gave Mac details about the way their victim met his death. Don gave him the details about the neighborhood and their vic's name - Aaron Dexter.

After Hawkes finished his examination, the two of them collected as much evidence as they needed before returning to the crime lab. All the journey back, Mac thought about Don and what he could do to help.

xxxCSINYxxx

Stella opened Mac's office while he stood with his back to her, reading some papers.

"Hi Mac, do have a minute?"

He glanced up for just a second and turned back to whatever he was doing. "Sure, what's up?"

Stella closed the door behind her, and checked that nobody was about to come in.

Then she turned to him "I think we should stop" she said almost whispering.

"Stop what?" He really was occupied with the file in his hand.

"You know what I'm talking about…"

He lifted his head, finally understanding.

Stella continued, "After last night, I thought maybe it was too much, I really don't want to lose our beautiful friendship." She took a big breath and continued "I know we never talked about it but we're and we can deal with this kind of conversation."

Mac turned to Stella and put the file on his desk "I really am sorry about last night..." Yes, he wanted to explain, to tell her, something had changed, he just didn't know exactly what. All he knew was that he couldn't stay there just to have sex with her, even though his body wanted it like it always did. Something had changed. Whether it was a good or bad change he didn't yet know. What he did know was that he could not deal with her words right now.

Stella played with her fingers, she didn't want to stop, she wanted to feel good again, that warm feeling, his touches, his stroking… She wanted to make him groan from pleasure, to hear someone calling her name, she loved that feeling, but she knew a line had been crossed, and she wished she could tell what that line was.

"So…" she offered him her hand "Best partners?" she had a weak smile, she wasn't happy.

Mac glanced behind her, the lab was pretty quiet and nobody was coming near his office. Mac pondered what to do.

When Stella noticed he wasn't going to shake her hand she lowered it and looked down, not letting her emotions take control.

Mac stepped closer to her, and put his hands on her arms.

"You know I care about you, right?" Stella nodded, still without looking at him. "Stella, look at me".

She lifted her head, their gaze met for several seconds, then she turned and looked at his lips, and she remembered the sweet kiss from last night, the last one. Mac looked at her lips, as if he was going to kiss her, but at the last moment he lifted his head and kissed her forehead, gentle as always. And with that, she knew inside her, she would never kiss that man again. She understood his decision, _their_ decision. Yes, she would miss it, but this chapter was over.

When their looks met again, she was smiling, and so was he.

"I better go and see if Adam found some new lead on the murderer."

Mac simply nodded and took the file again, trying to concentrate in it, in vain.

Stella opened the door and turned just before she went out and said, "I'm going to miss it". Mac lifted his head from the file, and they smiled at each other for a few seconds until Stella turned and left his office.

Mac accompanied her with his look and when he was sure she could not hear him, he whispered to himself, "I'm already missing it…"

Before he could think any amore about it, his phone buzzed and after reading the message, he left his office to meet Flack.

xxxCSINYxxx

Lindsay stood near some pieces from the vehicle, trying to find some clues to get more answers about their suspects. She felt someone coming and turned to see her loving husband approach her in his wheel chair, his cell phone on his knees.

She smiled at him.

"Hi, baby". Danny greeted her.

"Hi, what's up?" Lindsay turned back to the computer. "Did Mac call you and give you the new case?"

"Apparently the almost murder in the restaurant is connected to this case, somebody high-jacked the 911 call, and he and Flack think it's the same person who did it to the GPS machine."

Lindsay turned back to him "Who are we are dealing with here?"

"I really don't know, but Mac is on his way back to find out." Danny took a deep breath and continued "Anyway wasn't what I was going to tell when I came here in the first place."

"You came to tell me you love me?" Lindsay teased him, and bent over to kiss him.

Danny smiled to her "Yes, and also I want to ask you something".

She opened her eyes and nodded "Tell me."

"I want you to go out tonight. It's been hell the past few weeks, after the shouting in the bar and me in this chair, and I really want you to go out to have some fun, with a friend, maybe you can go with Stella, I'm sure she needs it, too."

"But Danny…"

He cut her off "Please, Linds, it's really important to me."

"But what about Lucy? Can you handle her all by yourself?"

"Don't you worry, baby, I just finished a call with my mother," he showed her his cell, "and she told me she'll come over, until Lucy goes to sleep".

Lindsay couldn't be happier with the man she had chosen, she kissed him on his lips. "Thank you Danny, I'll do it."

"Good. Now go back to work" he said with his boss tone, and a grin and turned away and left.

xxxCSINYxxx

Stella stood in the corridor of the lab when suddenly she noticed two guys installing a video camera in the lab. Deciding it was strange, she headed over to investigate.

 _"Excuse me."_ She came closer to the men. _"Do you have authorization for this?"_

 _"Yes, signed in the bottom of the first page."_ The man on the ladder told her and gave her the folder. _"Why, is there a problem?"_

The door of the elevator opened and Mac stepped out from it, looking at Stella examining the folder in her hand.

 _"What's going on?"_

 _"Did you order the installation of a camera in the lab?"_

 _"No."_

 _"According to this email memo you did, it has you electronic signature."_ Stella passed Mac the folder. _"If you didn't order it, who did?"_

They shared a look.

 _"Our suspect."_ Mac said.

 _"Why?"_

 _"He wants to see how our investigation is progressing."_ Mac said, furious.

 _"Okay,"_ Stella turned again to the installation guys _"Take it down now."_

 _"No! Wait,"_ Mac interrupted her, he had an idea, _"Are you done?"_

 _"Almost."_ one of the guys said.

 _"Leave it up"._

" _What are you thinking?"_ Stella didn't understand.

 _"If he wants to watch us, let's use it to our advantage."_ And with that Mac entered his office, wrote down his office number and put it in front of the camera. Stella was skeptical but five seconds later his phone rang. Mac went to pick it up and Stella went to the computer's room to try to locate the call.

The man on the other line, knew exactly who was Mac, what his job was and where he served in the army. Mac tried to get some information about the man, but although he admitted being the cause of the man killed and one in the hospital he didn't gave Mac any clue to who he was. All Mac was able to get from him was that he was sick.

In the meantime Stella and Adam tried to find from where he was calling, but their suspect was too good and they couldn't.

Suddenly their suspect said something that shocked Mac. _"I want to talk about your father."_

Mac took a few second before he continued _"My father?"_

 _"Your father was McCanna Boyd Taylor, served in the army during world war 2. Tell me how he died. How did he die detective?"_

 _"My father had cancer"._

Their suspect gave Mac specific information about his father's illness, shocking Mac so much, he needed to sit down.

 _"Your father was your hero, the reason you joined the military"._

He knew exactly how to hit Mac with every single word he said, like a punch directly in the heart. He wanted to show Mac he could not over-power him. Mac tried to change the subject, but their suspect continued.

 _"Your hero spent the last 8 months of his life, in bed, on a feeding tube. Not a very dignified way to end a life, don't you think?"_

 _"I think I'm running out of patience"._ Mac said angrily.

 _"Then I guess we're done for now. But don't worry you'll be hearing from me very soon, until then, you, think about your father!"_

And with that, the line went dead.

xxxCSINYxxx

Mac entered a dollar bill into the coffee machine, the words of their suspect played in his head. He could see in front of his eyes, one of the last meeting he had with his father, when he was dying. When his father asked him to move to New York.

Mac took the cup and slowly walked to the locker room.

Stella watched him from behind and followed him, she knew something in the conversation had made Mac feel uncomfortable. She could see his body language, and now she needed to be there with him, she had to be.

Mac sat on the bench, sipping from his coffee, truly the conversation had affected him - his father was his hero, and always would be.

Stella approached, put her hands on his shoulders and caressed them. She could feel how tense he was. Mac moved his head just a little, he didn't need to see who it was - he recognized Stella's hands and presence.

"He mentioned my father." Mac said and sipped again to calm himself.

Stella didn't understand "Your father? Why? Did he know him?" She continued to massage his knotted shoulders.

"He knew he died from cancer, at home. Apparently he took some information from the internet, it's the only thing he does well".

"He wants to show us he's smarter than we are. But don't let it get to you, he is a coward and if I know you well, I'm sure your father wasn't like him at all." She tried to make him feel better.

Mac took a big breath and then caressed Stella's right hand with his left one.

"You're right, but his words took me back. My father was my hero, Stella."

"I know he was. And so are you for so many people here in this city, and for that reason we're going to get him, you can be sure of that."

Mac let a weak smile escape from his lips, he took the hand that was in his hand and guided Stella to sit near him, facing him.

Their gazes met and Stella smiled back at him.

Still with her hand in his, Mac said, "Thank you for being here with me."

"Mac, that's what we do, we take care of each other."

Mac nodded and held again the cup with both of his hands.

Lindsay came to the locker room looking for Stella.

"Stella? Oh hi Mac."

Lindsay virtually ignored Mac's presence, she was so excited to ask Stella something.

"Lindsay, everything okay?" Stella looked at the young detective curiously.

"Yes, sure. Danny is watching Lucy today with his mother and I know you have a free night, so I was wondering if you wanted to go out, maybe have some coffee or a drink together?"

"Sure, I'd love too." She glanced at Mac, and saw he looked much better.

"Okay, so we'll talk later to set up." And with that Lindsay disappeared, leaving Mac and Stella alone again.

Stella looked again on Mac, putting her hand on his shoulder "Maybe you should call your mother, I think she will be happy to hear your voice".

Mac looked at Stella with his sealed lips, then Stella stood up and went back to work.

xxxCSINYxxx

By the end of the night, Mac, Hawkes and Flack got their suspect and saved his life so he would stand trial.

Mac didn't miss the chance to say to him when he woke up. _"You're a coward, I put guys like you away every day. That's how I honored my father"._

The picture of his father lying on the bed, hardly breathing didn't get out from Mac's head.

On his way home he called the woman whose voice he had missed hearing so much.

xxxCSINYxxx

Stella sat on the couch in the little café where she and Lindsay had agreed to meet, a steaming cup of coffee between her.

The bell at the café's door- dinged and Lindsay came in, looking around until she found Stella and came over.

"Hi, sorry I'm late. Danny's mom was delayed." Lindsay joined Stella on the couch.

"It's okay, Lindsay, how are you? How is Lucy?"

"Lucy? She is a sun, she makes me laugh so much sometimes, I just don't want her to grow up."

"My dear Lucy…how is she with Danny? Did she notice the chair?"

The waitress approached their table and after she took Lindsay's order, Lindsay continued. "I guess she wonders sometimes why Danny doesn't throw her up in the air like he used to, but the games with the chair are also fun to her."

"I haven't seen her in a long time." Stella said and opened a sugar sachet, "we have to meet soon, all of us together."

"Yes, you're right, we should do it. Maybe you all can come to us now that Danny is progressing so well."

"Yes I've heard! I'm so glad for you. I think you need to take some time off after he starts to walk again by himself." Stella said with a wink.

Lindsay's cappuccino arrived and she hugged it with her hand while she put sugar inside. Stella looked through the window, wondering where Mac was, and if he was okay.

Lindsay saw Stella was distracted, so she tried to get her attention.

"You remember Brandon? The Fireman? I met him today when I left the lab." Lindsay stopped only to seek Stella's look. "He asked me about you."

"Who?" Stella's attention went back to Lindsay.

"Brandon."

"Oh, we dated once, you know."

"And…?"

"And…he is a really nice guy, Lindsay. But he's too young for me..." Stella didn't have a good excuse, but she knew she don't want to go out with _him_ again.

"Stella," Lindsay put her hand on Stella's "What's wrong? I can see you need share something."

 _You're the only one I can share it with, Lindsay, but I'm too scared…_

"I'm fine. Really, maybe it's over-time." Stella took another sugar bag and played with it.

"You can't fool me, but I want to tell you, I'm here for you, like you've been for me in the last few weeks with Danny, and even before that."

Stella just wanted to free her thoughts, she knew Lindsay couldn't help her understand, but she was at least a good listener.

Lindsay waited, she saw Stella's eyes and knew Stella needed her.

"Stella?"

Stella took a deep breath and asked "But it top secret Lindsay, could you save it even from Danny?"

"Of course, Stella, I promise you." She put her hand on Stella's. "Please, let me be your friend."

Lindsay had heard from Stella a lot of news in the few past years, bad and good, but even she didn't expect to hear the next sentence.

Stella put the sugar bag down and faced Lindsay. "Mac and I…we slept together..."

 **TBC**


	4. Tell him

**I'm sorry it took me too long…**

 **Happy New Year to all of you!**

 **Thank you Lily Moonlight once again!**

 **Chapter 4: Tell him**

"What?!" Lindsay put her hand over her mouth.

"Shhh….please" Stella couldn't believe she had just told Lindsay that.

"When?"

Stella took a few seconds before she continued. "Since the shooting."

" _Since_ the shooting?" Lindsay tried to arrange her thoughts. Then she asked Stella slowly almost whispering "Are you two in love?"

"What? ... Love? No, Lindsay…not at all, God, it was just sex." She tried to cancel Lindsay's conclusion. "It happened right after the shooting in the bar. It was just physical, I needed someone that time, and I guess Mac did, too. This case took our balance completely".

"Stella, I can't believe you didn't tell me before!" Lindsay shook her head, "You and Mac sleeping together, oh my…" She broke her gaze with Stella.

Stella tried not to make a big deal from it. "It was nothing, I'm telling you, pure needs. Anyway it's ended today."

"Why?" Lindsay looked confused.

"I really don't know, we decided to stop doing it, I guess we both understand it means nothing." Stella let go all the air that was in her lungs, even she didn't believe herself.

Lindsay certainly didn't believe her, she knew something had changed in Stella. "I don't think it means nothing. It's truly affecting you, I can see that."

Stella didn't answer, she knew she was in the middle of a tornado, every direction pulling her to another. Tears stood in Stella's eyes she looked down trying to hold them back. But with that, Lindsay knew she was revealing something else.

"Oh my God, Stella, you fell for him. You didn't understand it, until you decided to stop, am I right?"

Stella looked at Lindsay and her tears found their way out and she didn't understand how. She said, crying, "I don't know, I really don't know." She sniffed. "All I know is, I missed that feeling. I'm missing him so much that it hurts, right here." Stella held her hand on her chest.

Lindsay hugged Stella, trying to comfort her.

Stella was glad she had got it out of her system but now she know she was in big trouble. She cried silently on Lindsay's shoulder.

After they broke apart, Lindsay was the first to talk. "You have to tell him, Stella. You _have_ to tell him you have feeling for him."

"I can't! Mac is my best friend _and_ my boss, how can I tell him that?"

"Simple. You tell him that after all those years being your boss and best friend, you fell in love with him, you thought it just sex, but..."

Stella nodded. Looking seriously at her, Lindsay put it to her bluntly.

"Stella, listen to me, you have to tell him. Something tells me it wasn't just sex for him, it can't be. Stella, he followed you to Greece! He's the only one who has keys to your apartment, you knew first about Reed, you two were the only ones at our wedding… doesn't that tell you something?"

"I can't tell him, Lindsay. If he rejected me, we would _never_ be able to take things back." Stella took a big breath trying to convince herself, "I prefer to save it to myself, let it die in me, until I can get over it." She turned back to the table. "I cherish our friendship more than anything."

"I think you are making a _big_ mistake Stella, you see him every day…"

"No, Lindsay," Stella cut her, wiping her tears "I can't tell him, never."

Lindsay's phone buzzed, and she looked at Stella.

"Pick it up, maybe it's important..."

Lindsay rolled her eyes, she knew Stella was right, so she answered the call.

While Lindsay talked, apparently with Danny, Stella started to calm herself. She finished her coffee, arranged her hair, and leaned on the back of the couch. She wiped her eyes, took deep breaths to regulate her breathing, but her mind drifted away. She thought about Mac, and if he was all right after everything that had happened today. She wondered if he missed her like she was missing him.

All of a sudden, her cell phone made a sound. Picking it up, she saw a message from Mac. Stella opened it curiously.

 _"I hope you are having fun. Talked to my mother, it made me feel a little better, thank you."_

Stella smiled to herself, and put the phone back on the table. She wondered if he would have invited her, if they hadn't decided to stop their meeting.

Another ding came from her phone.

 _"Do you want to come over later?"_

Now Stella was confused, she wanted to go as always but also she knew it was dangerous and probably would not help her forget her feelings.

 _"I don't think it's such a good idea."_ She answered at last.

At his apartment, Mac read her message and felt sad, he knew she was right but he could use a hug from her so much right now. Missing her touch, he placed his phone in its charger and went to take a shower.

Afterwards Mac dressed up and sat on his sofa, turned on the TV although he wasn't watching, just staring.

A strange sound drew him from his thoughts. It took him seconds to understand it was keys, trying to open _his_ door. He smiled, understanding perfectly who it was.

Moments later his best friend stood in his living room, smiling back at him.

She closed the door behind her, and came closer to him. She put her wallet down on the coffee table and hugged him.

Mac embraced her thin figure, taking comfort from her, he was so glad she surprised him and decided to come. Her perfume enchanted his senses, and he just closed his eyes, enjoying every moment. This embrace was magical, it made him feel better instantly, telling him he wasn't alone. Stella would always be by his side, no matter what happened between the two of them. Mac tightened his hands around her feeling his body almost regretting the decision they took today. Stella meant a lot to him, in so many ways.

While Stella hugged him, she wondered if he could sense her heart beats wanting to leave her chest, but she didn't care. When she was with him, just the two of them, she really believed the world stopped its motion. Her feelings made her body hurt, but she held them well inside, promising herself that he would never know. The most important thing now was that she is there for him.

"I'm so glad you came," he whispered.

She moved her hands and leaned them on his shoulders, looking straight at his sincere eyes and smiled.

Something in her eyes told him she was planning something but he wasn't sure exactly what.

In a blink, Stella took his hand and led him slowly to his bedroom.

Mac followed in confusion "Stella…?"

But she didn't answer, she didn't even look at him. She held his hand until he was standing in his bedroom, with his back to the bed, Stella in front of him.

She looked just for a second at his eyes and then she started to unbutton his shirt, his eyes companioned her act.

"Stella, what…."

She stopped for a second only to stare at him and put her index finger on his mouth to make him stop talking, leaving him barely able to believe how much power she had over him.

After she was sure he won't say another word, she continued unbuttoning his shirt until its end. She helped him take his shirt off completely and throw it behind her. Stella could see his confused face but she didn't care – she was the one in charge. She pushed him down on the bed, and leaded forward so her face was close to his face.

"Now, Mr. Taylor you are going to sleep without protesting."

"But…" _You are not going to take advantage of me?_ Mac was almost disappointed.

"You are going to sleep," Stella said firmly and signalled with her finger that she wanted him to lie down. Mac obeyed without another word.

Then Stella went to the other side of the bed. Mac turned to her, unable to say anything, God, how much this woman could surprise him after all these years.

"Now I'm going to sit here, until I can see you're in a deep sleep, and then we are going to meet again tomorrow morning."

He smiled shyly. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now, good night, Mac."

Mac closed his eyes "Good night, Stella."

It took him only a few minutes to fall asleep, and she understood he was in a deep sleep after she heard his soft snores.

Stella took a deep breath and slowly got up from the bed.

Just before she exited his room and turned off the lights, she looked at him and said in a soft voice, "I love you, Mac Taylor."

 **TBC**

 **Meet you in the reviews!**


	5. Words don't come easy

**Here it is…thanks to all of you, for reading this story and loving it…**

 **This chapter it dedicated to my awesome friend Lily Moonlight, THANK YOU as always!**

 **Chapter 5: Words don't come easy**

So many things happened in the next few days; neither Stella nor Mac had time to even talk to each other. First the team was occupied with the case of the compass killer, and a new case had entered the crime lab. A case where there was a woman who confessed she killed her husband but the evidence found a match to another woman, to 21 different murders, a shadow woman. If that was not enough, Don was out of balance and Stella was worried sick about him, she knew he wasn't okay, but after a quick chat with Mac about it, he convinced her that Don would get through it. And Hawkes? Damn, what had happened to him? Why hadn't he told them in the beginning he had lost all his money? At least they had found out eventually and Mac had invited him to sleep in his spare room. On the good side, however, was Danny who was progressing very well and almost walked without any help, except of a walking stick.

For Stella, it felt like she had to work night and day but she still didn't succeed in taking her mind off Mac. She knew she had to do something to get over it, but she just couldn't figure out what.

Sitting in her office, Stella looked at the screen asking it to give her some information about the compass killer, and all of a sudden her cell phone buzzed.

She opened the message:

 _"Hi, Stella, I haven't seen you in a long time. Do you want to catch up and grab some coffee one day?"_

She started to write, _"No, sorry, I'm over my head with work."_

But then she thought about it again. Stella wrote a new message back and sent.

 _"Sounds good. What do you say to tomorrow morning? I'm starting late."_

 _"Perfect. Call you tonight to arrange where."_

Stella smiled to herself, now she had figured it out.

Lindsay came like a storm into her office.

"Hi, Stella, can I ask you a favor?"

Stella put her cell phone down and turned in her chair to the young detective. "Sure, Lindsay, how can I help you?"

"The thing is I need a big favor."

Stella crossed her hands in front of her and leaned back in her chair. "Spill it".

Lindsay sat on Stella's table "You see, I'd listened to you and set up a date with Danny tonight, but the problem is Danny's mom tells me she's sick and she can't babysit Lucy."

"Do you want me to babysit her?" Stella asked with a crooked smile.

"Can you do this, please? I tried Danny's sister and she can't either and I don't want to cancel the reservation."

"I'd love to. When do you want me to be there?"

"8:00 will be awesome, I hope she'll be sleeping by then."

"No problem."

"Thank you so much, Stella." Lindsay hugged Stella.

"I'm going to tell Danny".

Stella nodded and went back to her screen.

xxxCSINYxxx

Later that day, Lindsay saw Danny in the break room.

"I found a babysitter for tonight." they said together.

"What?!" They did it again.

"Wait, Montana, you first."

"I've asked Stella and she agreed, who did you ask?"

"Mac. I figured he's her godfather and he's babysat her before, so…"

"So you asked him and he said yes?"

"Yes he did. Do you want me to cancel him?"

"No. No."

Danny held his chin with his hand. "You gonna cancel Stella?"

They both stayed in silence for a few moment and then they said it again in unison "Why don't they babysit together?" Smiling, Danny pointed at his wife so she could speak first again.

"I think it's a _great_ idea. They've babysat her before together and I guess they would love to be company to each other after those crazy days."

"I totally agree, Lindsay." Danny got up. "I'm going to tell Mac."

Lindsay grabbed his forearm. "No, Don't."

Danny looked at her with a puzzled look.

"Let's surprise them, because if we say something, they're sure to want to cancel the other, you know how they care for each other."

"I don't know Linds…I'm dealing here with Mac, you with Stella…it's too risky."

"Danny…" she played with his shirt… "Don't you worry, I'll say it was my idea."

"Fine." He kissed his loving wife "I can't wait for tonight, just you and me."

Lindsay circle her hands on Danny's shoulders "Me neither."

xxxCSINYxxx

"You look gorgeous Lindsay". Danny hugged his wife while Lucy sat in her chair drinking her bottle.

"Well thank you Danny, you look handsome too. I'm so glad we finally succeeded in pulling this off." She leaned over to give him a kiss but a knock on the door stopped them from doing so.

"I'll get it," Lindsay said over his lips.

When she opened the door she saw her boss standing there, smiling.

"Hi."

"Hi, Mac, come on in, you're a little early," she said and looked at Danny.

He entered the apartment and took off his coat. "It's just 10 minutes. I don't mind playing with my goddaughter while you're getting ready."

"Thank you, it's so nice of you."

Mac took a seat on the couch and caressed a smiling Lucy while she still had her bottle in her hands.

"So, Mac, any new detail about the compass killer?" Danny asked while putting on his coat.

"No, Flack is still trying to make a connection between the victims and Hawkes is working on the evidence. They'll inform me if they find something."

"I'm ready," Lindsay said when she finished putting her shoes.

"So where are you going to eat?"

A knock on the door stopped Lindsay from answering and she looked at Danny. For a minute she regretted their decision, but she couldn't go back now.

Mac looked confused on Danny while Lindsay took a big breath and opened the door.

Stella looked at Lindsay smiling and then she looked behind her to find Lucy but she found Mac's eyes instead. She looked back at her friend with a questioning look.

Lindsay held Stella's hand and brought her into the apartment and closed the door.

"Mac. What are you doing here?" Stella finally spoke.

"I'm babysitting Lucy tonight, you?"

"I…" she looked at Lindsay trying to figure if she had planned it on purpose "I'm babysitting Lucy too, I guess."

"Yes, you see," Lindsay had to explain "I asked you Stella - and Danny asked Mac before I knew. And when _Danny_ understood you both agreed to babysit her, he said why don't you do it together? Right, Danny?"

Danny opened his eyes at his wife. _You said you'd say it was_ your _idea._

"I don't mind," Mac broke the tension, smiling at Stella.

 _I don't mind either_. She smiled back at him while taking off her coat.

"Are we late, dear?" Lindsay took Danny's hand before one of them would regret their actions.

Danny opened the door. "After you, Montana."

"Just one kiss to my sun." She ran and kissed her daughter on her forehead. "Love you Lucy".

"Have fun, you two." Stella turned to them, and just before she closed the door Lindsay whispered in her ear so only Stella could hear, "Tell him."

Stella looked at the closed door for a second, trying to fight what Lindsay had just asked her before she turned and went to Lucy, who just finished her night meal.

"Hi baby girl," she lifted her in her arms. "I missed you so much!" She kissed her cheek. Mac made space for her next to him on the couch and Stella sat gently.

Then Stella turned Lucy to Mac so he could see her also.

His blue eyes sparkled the second he saw her. He took her little hand and kissed it.

Their gaze met, they were so happy to be with Lucy, after what felt like a long time of not seeing her.

"Remember we babysat her together a month ago, she was sleeping when we came, I'm so glad she's awake now."

"Me too." Stella caressed Lucy's cheek "And now you are awake!" She touched her nose with Lucy's.

But, Lucy disappointed Stella, when she touched her ears and yawned.

"I think she wants to sleep, Stella".

Stella smiled at him and looked back at Lucy. "I think uncle Mac is right" She said with a childish voice.

Lucy stared at Mac when she heard his name, and when he smiled at her, she lifted her hands so he could hold her. Mac blushed.

"Did you see that?" Stella said happily "She wants you to hold her. Aren't you adorable, Lucy?"

Stella passed Lucy to Mac. Mac was so gentle and a little insecure, but he took her from Stella's hands and held her like his hands were her crib.

"I'll be right back," he said and stood up to take Lucy to her room.

In the meantime Stella took her shoes off and sat comfortably on the couch, taking her legs up near her body. She put her left elbow on the back of the couch just at the second Mac returned.

Mac found again his place on the couch. "She fell asleep a few moments after I put her in her crib."

Stella nodded. Mac stared at Stella, he wanted to take time back, to have the option to sit close to her without feeling guilty, but he acted like an idiot.

"I'm worried about Flack, Mac". She helped him run from his thoughts.

"I know what you mean, I'm starting to think I have to sit and talk to him seriously."

"I think it's a good idea, maybe you could press him to take some vacation, or maybe therapy."

"I wish he had someone close like you, Stella."

She looked at him, curious, his eyes drifted away then back to her emerald ones. "We know what it's like to lose someone." He came closer to her. "You helped me a lot when Claire died, you made me get a new meaning to live for. You were devastated too, but thanks to you we made it and didn't break or lose our sanity."

Stella listened to his words and understood exactly what he meant. She wished she could help Don like she did in the past for Mac. But what she had with Mac, she would never have with anybody else.

Stella moved her left hand to Mac's cheek, she wanted to comfort him, knowing how Claire's death would always impact him.

Mac leaned his head on Stella's palm and closed his eyes, he was addicted to her touch, he never wanted to lose it, but suddenly they heard a cry from the other room and they both looked in its direction.

Stella's hand left his cheek and was placed on his thigh. "I'll go." She got up and disappeared into Lucy's room. Mac decided to join her.

He leaned his shoulder against the door while Stella took Lucy in her arms and rocked her slowly, up and down to help her sleep again. Mac smiled at the picture of Stella so gently moving with a baby in hand, and he wished she could have children of her own someday. Stella didn't notice him at the beginning but after she turned a little with Lucy, she saw him staring at her, smiling. When she smiled back he broke his gaze with her, blushing and went back to the living room.

Stella came back two minutes after Mac. "She went back to sleep. Let's turn on the TV, see if there's anything interesting showing."

Stella zapped though the channels but she didn't find anything.

A moment later, her phone buzzed to life, to her surprise. After she glanced and saw who the caller was, she wondered if she wanted to answer it now or not, but in the end decided she had nothing to hide.

"Hi Brendon…of course I remember…" Mac opened his ears.

"Yeah sure, 8:00AM, I'll be there…see you then…good night."

Mac couldn't help it. "New date?" He looked at the TV like it interest him.

Stella looked at her cell phone. "This? ... It's Brendon from the fire department, remember him?" She put the cell on the table and looked at Mac.

Mac nodded again without looking at her, but he could feel perfectly the lump forming in his throat. _Why do you care?_

"Yes, you dated once, and I remember you said he was too young and naïve for you."

Stella smiled mischievously and nodded while looking down "True, I said that before, but I guess I want to give it one more try." Her eyes looked for Mac's again but in vain. It was obvious he didn't want to make eye contact "Are you okay, Mac?" she touched his forearm.

"Sure, I don't care who you go out with". Then he realized he may have been busted.

"What?" She came closer to him, sitting on the edge of the couch like he had "I didn't think you cared in that way, but now that you say it, that's why you can't look at me?"

Now he moved his head and their eyes met, again so close. "No." _Yes._

He leaned back and so did she. "I'm just focusing on the TV". _Liar._

"You are such a liar, I can see it isn't interesting you."

He smiled to himself at how well she knew him.

"Do you want to look for a movie maybe?" He tried to change the subject.

Stella knew she would not see inside his shell now and decided to humor him, "Sounds good, I'm picking."

She went back to the library and chose one movie while Mac made them popcorn.

After a little while, they sat back in front of the TV with a movie and some snacks. The movie was pretty scary but they kept it quiet so the sound wouldn't wake up Lucy. He found himself hugging her when she clung to him during the creepy parts. It made him laugh but at the same time, he felt good he could protect her and help her through her fears.

The scariest part was at the end of the movie. Stella clenched Mac's arm so hard and didn't want to let go.

"Stella, it's over, you can look now." He giggled.

"Are you sure?" Her voice sound very scared.

"Positive." He tried to be serious.

She sensed he was about to laugh, she could feel his body chuckle.

"What's so funny?" She lifted her face very slowly and their eyes met.

"You." he continued to chuckle until he stopped and understood how close their faces were.

They remained silent.

They were so close that it felt like they were trying to prove to themselves they could deal with such a closeness without touching.

He could feel her breath and remembered how her lips tasted on his.

She knew she have to move away, but she couldn't. _Help me._

Stella felt Mac tighten a little the grip on her body and she found her hand moving up to his collar.

In the second Mac made up his mind and wanted to close the distance, they heard keys entering the lock on the door. They quickly made a gap between each other, blushing. _That was close._

xxxCSINYxxx

On the way back to Stella's apartment, neither of them spoke or even looked at each other. Stella knew that if Lindsay and Danny had not arrived back when they did, she wouldn't have been able to control herself. She had to do something to avoid those situation in the future. Mac was just a man, he couldn't control his needs, apparently.

As for Mac, he felt as if he was on fire, unable to understand how he could fight that situation again and again, and why he was fighting at all. Why was it so hard to explain?

Mac parked his SUV in front of Stella's building.

She opened the door and exited the car. "Good night, Mac."

Releasing his seat belt, Mac went to accompany her to her apartment's door, managing to get to it before her and opening it, to her surprise.

"It's okay, I can handle it on my own from here".

"I'm just worried the monster will come to eat you." He grinned.

Stella laughed at his comment as she went inside. "It was just a movie, Mac."

He went after her. "I just want to make sure. I don't want to be a witness who didn't accompany his friend and after he said good night, she disappeared."

She laughed at his silly excuse, but she could not ignore the fact she liked the feeling he was protecting her.

On the way from the elevator until her apartment's door she thought about how many other times she had heard his footsteps in the corridor and knew why he was coming, and now… how the hell was she going to erase her feelings?

Mac stopped just a step before her door while Stella took her keys to open it.

Somehow she didn't manage to open the door, the keys didn't enter the lock.

"Let me help you." Mac put his hand on her hand and bent forward, a warm flash ran from the spot their hands connected to her toes. While he succeeded in unlocking the door, his cheek touched her ear. She felt that perfectly and so did he. His breath warmed her cheek, caressing just it a little. She couldn't fight it anymore. She closed her eyes and leaned back onto him just a bit. Feeling his body close to hers, it drove her crazy, she didn't want to stop feeling him so close to her.

When Mac sensed her body attached to his, his body shook from the anticipation. He gently moved his hand and hugged her, whispering in her ear what he had wanted to tell her all night. "I miss us…"

To the sound of his words Stella released a quiet groan "Mac…"

Mac heard her complaint, and he knew, he don't want to go now. "I want you".

Stella couldn't take it anymore, she turned to face him and kissed him hard on his desired lips, like she had wanted to do since the last time they kissed.

Mac gripped her, hungrily devouring her mouth. They leaned at the door in a perfect fit. His tongue melted in hers and more groans escaped from her between the kisses.

Stella sent one hand back and opened the door. And from then, it all happened so fast, without even stopping kissing, they helped undress each other completely, enjoying every single touch.

When they entered her room, Mac slowly laid her down on the bed. Now, he took his time to really enjoy it. He continued caressing her amazing body and he knew she liked it because of the sounds she managed to release over his lips.

He loved every little moan. He started to kiss her neck while exploring more places with his hands. Very slowly his tongue went down leaving a salty trail behind, his tongue circled one of her breasts until its peak and kissed it. He moved to the other one doing the same but much more slowly. Stella felt so overwhelmed, like he was really enjoying taking care of her. She encouraged him to continue, with her groans and moans so he wouldn't miss any spot, and he didn't, he was so attentive to her. More than ever.

When they finally began their union, moving as one, she put one hand on his back, tightening his body to her's, and the other hand at his cheek, it didn't scare him this time, it felt so natural. They looked straight at each other, eye to eye, nose to nose, mouth to mouth… smiling, with satisfaction.

Mac continued moving slowly over her body until he saw her eyes closing, he understood she was close. But when she cried his name, he knew he could let himself release too, in her, _with_ her.

The only thing they could really hear after they touched heaven, was their attempt to regulate their breath again.

When their eyes met again, he thought she looked so fragile, and yet so beautiful. She smiled at his deep caring look and knew more than even she loved him. They both shared a thought that confirmed that this time was definitely different.

xxxCSINYxxx

Mac lay on one side of the bed, his eyes looking up to the ceiling, his naked body half covered with a blanket. Stella was sleeping on the other side of the bed on her belly, facing to the opposite direction, the blanket also covering only half of her body, leaving her back completely exposed to Mac. He looked for a moment at her, and by the rhythm of her breath, decided she was sleeping. He pulled the blanket up so she wouldn't be freezing, and then his eyes went back up.

He couldn't sleep, his thoughts prevented him. He started to remember so many events in his life, and in every single one of them, Stella was present. He began to talk to himself, and to her, quietly so he won't wake her.

"You always were something special in my life. Even when you yelled at me, I knew you were right. Every little fight we had, meant something and I'm so glad fate brought us to work together, to know each other.

"In the past few years I had the feeling I can't do this work without you, that…I can't see my life without you…The closeness that we shared, scared me but it felt so natural and every time, you made it more and more easy.

"And then we kissed, _we_ the best friends…the co-workers, and it took out my balance, it changed my routine. I had something new to wake up to, to see you, to kiss you… to touch you… like no one else could, you were only mine and I was yours…

"Something changed _in_ me, I didn't understand it, but now I do. I love you Stella, I'm _in love_ with you, I'm totally crazy about you and I can't even tell you that, I'm too scared from your rejection and then we will never be able to take things back. I'm a coward, I wish I could confess this to you while looking to your eyes…"

Mac confessed his heart to Stella, believing she was asleep.

But she wasn't.

 **TBC**


	6. How deep is your love?

**I know you have waited for this chapter, I hope you'll like it…:D**

 **Thanks to my friend Lily Moonlight for helping me!**

 ** _*Words in italics surrounded by double quotes taken directly from the episode (6X08)_**

 **Chapter 6: How deep is your love?**

Stella froze at Mac's confession. She just couldn't move, even breathing was difficult. She was afraid he would notice she was awake.

Mac loved her? Yes…he really did, he had just confessed that to her and she was sure she wasn't asleep. It wasn't a part of her imagination.

Although she didn't know why, she couldn't move. Even though she wanted to turn to him and kiss him, look into his deep eyes and tell him she loved him too, make love to him till morning… somehow she couldn't. Some mysterious power had overcome her.

Those past weeks, it had started only with a physical attraction, but a new bond had been created between them. A more powerful, deeper, significant and beautiful connection, and Stella was so glad they shared those feelings. Yes, Mac was still her boss and best friend, but she knew they could handle that perfectly. She could not miss the opportunity, to be loved truly again and she was happy he was willing to be loved again, by her.

As she thought all that, Stella sensed her heart kicking and became afraid Mac would notice, so she tried to calm herself. She had to tell him, she had to tell him - now. Stella took a big breath and just when she opened her eyes to turn and confess, Mac's phone buzzed to life.

She froze again.

Mac took his phone so its vibration wouldn't wake Stella, he glanced for a moment to her back again, smiling. She was peacefully, still in her position.

He saw the caller ID and slowly moved the blanket from his body and looked for his pants, around the place he _lost_ them.

When he finally found them, he was already out of Stella's room.

"Taylor…"

Stella didn't move, although she wanted to get up, throw the phone out of his reach and surprise him with a kiss. She would wait until he came back.

From what she could hear, she realised the call was from Flack, and she knew that now wasn't a good time to talk to him. She would have to do it right, they deserved it.

By the time Mac finished his conversion with Flack, Stella had turned to the other side of the bed, still pretending to be asleep.

Mac entered the room and picked up his clothes. He saw Stella's face, and smiled to himself, how beautiful she was. Leaning over, he gently kissed her cheek. "See you in the morning" he whispered and he was sure he saw her lips curled a little upwards, but guessed it was just in his imagination. Quietly, he left and closed the door behind him.

Stella waited a few minutes until she was sure she was alone in her apartment. Then she opened her eyes, took the pillow next to her and hugged it. Mac's smell was still on it, she couldn't sleep, not tonight. She would have to find the right time to tell him she loved him, _too_.

A few hours past and Stella woke up, Mac's pillow yet in her hands. She didn't know when and how she fell asleep, but in the little time she had been sleeping she had dreamed about Mac. His touches, his caresses and of course what he had said to her when he thought she was sleeping:

 _"I'm in love with you, I'm totally crazy about you…"_

Stella played it over and over in her mind. It made her feel warm around her heart. She just couldn't believe it had actually happened.

"Damn. Why didn't I turn around in time?" she reflected.

One thing she knew for sure, she looked forward to seeing him at work today. She still needed to find the right time to be alone with him and tell him she felt the same. But just to see him would be almost as good. The only thing she wished was that he would stay the night with her, he never did.

It took her ten more minutes to finally gather herself and get up, rolling the blanket around her still naked body, before she went to take a shower.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

At the lab, Lindsay sat on her chair, impatient to know if something had happened between Stella and Mac yesterday. They definitely looked like something had happened when Danny and she surprised them, they both had red faces.

The moment, she Lindsay saw Adam walking while holding test tubes in his hands.

"Hi, Adam? Did you see Stella today?"

The young man looked at Lindsay and raised an eyebrow like he tried to remember.

"No, I think she's starting late today."

"Right, thank you."

Even more impatient, Lindsay took her cell to send Stella a message.

 _"Morning! When are you coming today, can't wait to know if something happened last night… :D"_

xxxCSI:NYxxx

Stella had finished her shower and was preparing to get dressed, until she saw the little green light on her cell phone telling her someone left her a message.

In fact, there were two. Seeing one message was from Lindsay, Stella read it and smiled to herself, "I have to tell you in person, Lindsay" she spoke to herself.

The other one was from Brendon, whom Stella had totally forgotten about, and that they had agreed to meet for coffee today.

 _"Good Morning. Looking forward to see you today at 'John's Café' at 8:00AM"._

Stella looked at her watch, realizing it was too late now to cancel. She decided to meet Brendon but to tell him it wouldn't succeed between them.

She wrote back: _"See you then."_

An hour later she entered the little café, already dressed for work, from there she would go straight to the lab, which was a few blocks away.

Stella spotted Brendon, already sitting in the corner on the little sofa. He noticed her right away, like he had been waiting for her hours. Acknowledging him with a wave, she went over to him, realizing she had no choice but to sit close to him. It was like he on purpose chose this place so she would have to sit next to him no matter what.

He was good looking no doubt, young, and nice. Stella remembered why she was attracted to him in the past and how she agreed immediately when he asked her to be his date at the charity fundraiser. But again, she was in love with someone else.

After they ordered, they chatted a little about work and some friends they shared. When the real reason why Brendon wanted to meet with her came up, Stella gave him the clues that she did not think it would be a good idea. Of course she didn't tell him her _real_ reason, but she figured he would understand.

"I can't say its surprised me, Stella." Brendon said while touching her hand.

Stella took her hand slowly back, smiling shyly.

"But we are still friends, right?" He looked her in the eyes.

"Of course we are." She smiled in return at him. But seconds later she found his lips on hers.

Unknown to her, two eyes, who knew Stella well spotted that exact moment and before the person to whom those eyes belonged could see Stella push Brendon gently off her, they left the café, believing that what they saw was a moment of true love.

Stella looked confused. "Brendon, what…?"

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to do it from the moment I knew you, and those three seconds were all I needed."

He had a great smile and after she broke his heart she couldn't be mad at him.

"It's all right." She gave up "But don't you ever do it again," she said smiling while pointing at him.

He nodded in agreement.

As Brendon paid for their order, Stella got a call from dispatch and left to go straight to her new crime scene.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

This crime scene was a mess. On a little yacht were two bodies and one killer. Surrounding them were at least 20 people and glass was everywhere. Stella put a gun in a paper bag right when she saw Mac coming over to her. They smiled shyly to each other, knowing it was time for focusing on work.

 _"What we looking at, Stella?"_ Mac asked her.

Stella stood up. _"Murder suicide with a twist. Only our shooter wasn't the one who committed suicide."_

Mac looked behind her and then he signed her to come closer to him.

 _"Why is O'reailly doing the interview? Thought Flack was on today."_

 _"He is, but he didn't show up, can't reach him on his cell."_

Mac was starting to get mad, Stella had to calm him down and, decided to give him the reins but with her guidance.

 _"How do you want to play it?"_ Stella tried to find Mac's look and attention.

Mac took a big breath. _"I'll call his CO and put him down for a day off."_

Mac could see Stella needed to tell him something else, but now they had to deal with this case _. "Walk me through it."_

Stella started to explain to Mac what happened according to the eye witnesses at the scene and like always, Mac succeeded in completing her sentences.

When they finished examining the crime scene, Mac was the first to talk about something other than work.

"Flack called me in the _middle_ of the night yesterday." Mac blushed for a second. "He asked to meet me in the bar next to his home, he sounded drunk, but when I arrived there, I didn't find him."

Now Stella understood when Flack called Mac yesterday, she was sure it was about work.

"Did you try to call him again?" Mac nodded, "…And let me guess, he didn't answer you."

Mac rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "He didn't, and now that I don't see him here, I'm worrying more."

Stella put her hand on the hand that made his forehead furrow, and guided it gently down.

"Don't worry, we'll find him and I personally will make him regret he made us worry about him like that." She tried again to find Mac's gaze, when she found it they both smiled at each other.

Mac nodded. "Let me take you back to the lab and then I'm going to the precinct to talk to his CO".

On their way Stella decided that the best way to confess Mac about her feelings was to just say it simple, to be along with him and tell him to his face. But of course she couldn't tell him at work, especially not now when his head was too busy on Flack and the new case. She would do it later, maybe, she would invite him to dinner at her place. Yes, she decided, that's what she would do. She smiled to herself imaging his reaction.

"Why are you smiling?" Mac asked as he pulled the SUV into the lab's parking lot.

As the car stopped, Stella opened the door, took her case and looked at him smiling. "Just thought about someone I care about." And with that mysterious statement she closed the door and entered the building. She would surprise him, no doubt.

Mac accompanied her with his look, then he whispered to himself "If you only knew how much I care about you, Stella."

Mac put down the handbrake and drove away.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

"Stella!" Lindsay called her from the other side of the corridor the second she saw her.

Stella turned to her with wide eyes.

"I hope you called me like that because of the case, and not because of _another_ reason," she said quietly hoping no one had noticed.

"I'm sorry, it isn't about the case…" Lindsay replied, equally quietly. "Since last night I wanted to talk to you and when you didn't answer me this morning I hoped everything was okay between you and…"she looked around checking no one is listening "you and…Mac."

"I will tell you, but only if you promise me to relax a little, we need to keep to work as usual, okay?"

Lindsay sighed, but nodded. "You're right, I promise to be more professional, but it just because I want it to succeed so bad, you two deserve this happiness…"

Stella could not help but smile at Lindsay, while still reminding herself they were still responsible adults. "There isn't any 'us two' yet, but…"

"On my God…but what? Stella?"

"But I hope there will be, soon." Stella blushed all over her face and she couldn't look at Lindsay, she just couldn't believe she was feeling like a 15 years old teenager again.

"Listen, let me put the evidences in place, make some calls and then I'll meet you in 15 minutes on the roof top?"

"Stella…" Lindsay looked impatient, but when she noticed Stella's serious face she changed her act. "Be professional, I remember. Meet you up in 15….long minutes".

The two women split up and met exactly 15 minutes later.

As opposed to the last few days, the morning was sunny and even the slight wind had dropped when Stella and Lindsay met.

Stella started first. "Ask me Lindsay, what you wanted to know about last night?"

"Everything, but especially what almost happened when we arrived, I could see we disturbed you in some way, you two were blushing all over your faces, did you just tell him?"

Stella leaned on the edge of the barrier, remembering exactly that moment.

"I didn't tell him, Lindsay. I just couldn't." Then she turned to her, playing with her fingers. "But we almost kissed..."

"How did that happen? Tell me all…"

Stella told Lindsay about the events of last night, without mentioning the specific details. Lindsay was so happy to hear Stella speaking with such enthusiasm, that she didn't mind completing the missing pieces by herself, she respected Stella's privacy.

After Stella finished, Lindsay was on the clouds. "It's so beautiful Stella…please tell me you confessed to him after you… you know…"

"I didn't…"

"Oh, Stella…" Lindsay looked down in disappointment.

"But _something_ tells me he feels the same, it was different this time, new…" Stella preferred not to tell Lindsay how she knew it, it was still their boss they were talking about after all.

"After last night, Lindsay, I promised myself I won't let this opportunity escape from my hands, if he would let me, I know I will make him the happiest man in the world, I want it to succeed so much."

Lindsay caressed Stella's arms. "I know he will make you the happiest woman on earth too. After all these years you two have had this unique friendship, and now that you've finally opened up for love, I'm sure you'll be perfect together." Lindsay looked at Stella's bright eyes.

"I'll tell him the second I have the chance, wouldn't miss it for anything".

Lindsay smiled at Stella. She really wanted her to be happy and that Mac would be too.

The two women remained in silence for a few moments until Stella spoke again. She told Lindsay about the occurrence with Brendon that morning. Lindsay was surprised but glad Stella put him in his place.

"I guess I'm going back down. Don't forget I'm here for you, for everything that you need." Lindsay smiled.

"Thank you," Stella answered.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

After developments in compass killer case, they all met in the conference room to cross-check the evidence they already had to see if they understood the killer's moves.

 _"North, south, east…I want answers before we find another body on the west side,"_ Mac said while showing the team the New York map.

Everybody went to their work but Mac stopped Stella before she exited the room, _"Stella, nothing from Flack?"_

 _"Danny went to all his usual spots, we're running out of places to look."_

 _"We're running out of time, let's try to trace his phone."_

Stella nodded in agreement, and left the conference room.

Mac walked to the windows and looked at the big city underneath him. He promised himself he would do anything to find Flack, and make some sense in him. And after they would find the compass killer he would have to set and understand what he was going to do with his feelings for Stella. He could not ignore it anymore.

Mac felt it eating him from the inside. Yesterday night was so special and different for him, he knew that. He knew that, because at last, he let himself release completely, didn't deny his feelings anymore, didn't hold himself. He enjoyed those moments, when Stella was in his arms, when he explored her body. He enjoyed- what they shared, to hear her whispering his name... He really was there this time, body and soul.

But was it different for her too?

Since yesterday every time he saw her he wondered if she felt even slightly like he did _. Is that possible?_

Or maybe she was too disappointed from her past love life, that she had learned to live with that she couldn't engaged with anybody, ever. Just because she suffered so much in the past. Could it be that yesterday was only physical to her?

Mac wished he could enter her soul and see what was in it. He wanted her so bad, but knew what he could lose if he did not act right. Then he caught himself, scolding himself: really, at his age, what was he doing wondering about his love life like that?  
If he wanted to stay sane, he needed to act.

As always, work interrupted his thoughts.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

"Did you want to see us Sid?" Mac said entering the morgue with Stella.

Sid glanced for a second and then went back to his scan.

"I found the bullet, maybe you can compare it on the data-base." He handed Mac the bullet in a Petri dish. And went back to his screen.

Mac examined it for a second with a magnifying glass and transferred the object to Stella.

"Will do, Sid, thanks," Mac said and started to walk out of the morgue, while Stella still looked at the bullet.

"I saw you with Brendon today at John's café," Sid mentioned without looking at Stella.

When Mac heard Sid, he slowed his movement until he stopped walking, but he didn't look back. _He had totally forgotten that Brendon asked her yesterday._

Stella sensed that Mac tensed and glanced for a second to his back, then fast back to Sid who now looked back at her smiling. "I always thought you two would be a beautiful couple."

Mac felt like all his blood disappeared from his face, but told himself: _Chill, it's just coffee._

Stella tried to ignore Mac's presence and answer as naturally as she could. She didn't want Mac to think- she had something with Brendon. But she didn't know what Sid saw either. Although she was surprised by Sid's comment, she said half smiling "We're just friends, Sid."

"Really?" Sid's reaction said it all.

"Yeah..." She tried to stay calm. Now, she assumed by his tone, what Sid had seen and apparently imagined. _You saw him kiss me?_

Sid realized he had embarrassed Stella, he opened his glasses and closed them back on his neck, looking uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"It's okay, Sid," she cut him before Sid, who obviously just wanted to make a chat, would slip another false conclusion, "Thanks for the evidence," she said while lifting the Petri Dish and walked to where Mac was. Sid went back to his work.

When Mac sensed her presence near him, he started to walk again without meeting her eyes. But Stella could see that Mac was feeling uncomfortable, his face was tensed, she could see him clenching his teeth though his jaw.

"Mac, wait a second…" she whispered while trying to catch up his steps.

"We got work to do, Stella."

"I know, but…"

"…And we need to find Flack." _You're pathetic, Mac. You better do the only thing you're good at – work._

Stella blew all the air from her lungs silently. She wanted to tell Mac exactly about her meeting with Brendon earlier, especially after what Sid mentioned, but after she understood in what condition Mac was, and that she had better not do it now.

Mac just wanted to occupy his mind on work, so he rushed to press the elevator button.

Finally when they heard the ding they both entered the elevator in the same step. They could feel the electricity between each other, and it wasn't a good feeling.

 **TBC**

 ** _Rrrr….I know!_**

 ** _Stay with me…2-3 chapters till the end…_**


	7. Always on my mind

**Thank you for being here, reading and reviewing, it always help me to write with more passion :D**

 **This chapter includes parts from the real series (6X08) but I've changed it, to how I would like it to be. I hope you will like this version too…**

 **Thanks to my friend Lily Moonlight, who helped bring this idea to my mind!**

 **Chapter 7: Always on my mind**

Mac stood in his office, and although his eyes were on the file he was holding, his mind was far away. He wanted to focus on the case, but he just couldn't. He was mad. Especially at himself, how he fell into this situation again, like he hadn't learned from the past, hadn't learned not to get emotionally involved again.

Now, instead of figuring out how to solve the case, he needed to figure how to forget Stella. How he could reverse time and bring back the previous friendship, with his partner. Obviously, she was trying to stop what they were doing. Anyway, he knew it couldn't last forever, it had been a foolish mistake to start it from the beginning.  
However… yesterday night was just amazing, the way they devoted themselves to each other was unmistakable. Mac wished he could take the time back and be there again, and stop time …

Footsteps from behind him evaporated his memories instantly, Mac felt his body stiffening again. Even though he was waiting for someone else, he recognized the rhythm like it was his own. _Focu_ s _on work, focus on work._

Mac didn't look back, he only turned his chin a little to give the person behind him the understanding that he heard the steps.

"Mac? ..."

"Do we have news about Hollis Eckhart?" Mac asked without looking back.

"Not yet, but I need to ask you something,"

"I'm waiting for Flack, after our encounter at Terrence's place, he texted me he wanted to talk to me."

Stella touched his shoulder to make him turn to her. "It's really important that we talk. Will you come to my house, tonight?" She wasn't going to give up.

Mac turned to her and felt like he was melting in her eyes, but he held himself well.

"I don't think I'll have time, I want to find this murderer, and fast. I'm going to stay here until _I_ find him."

" _We_ will find him, Mac, until _we_ find him I want to stay here too, but…"

"You don't have to stay here after your shift is over," Mac cut her again and went to put the file on his desk, "If you want to make plans, you can, we will update you…"

Stella knew what he meant by 'plans' but she wasn't going to miss her chance "Mac, please, whatever you understood from Sid isn't…"

"Your private life, is none of my business, Stella." _Ouch, that hurt._

"Hi," a voice came from nowhere, interrupting Stella.

Stella and Mac turned to see Flack's smile at the office's door.

"Am I interrupting you?"

 _Yes._

"No, not at all, we're done, right, Stella?"

She couldn't even look at Mac. _You are such a stubborn man, Mac Taylor, but I'll be back._

She came closer to Flack, and kissed his cheek. "I'm so glad to see you back. Don't you dare scare us like that again."

Mac watched them and wished he could feel her closeness like Don had. _Work, Mac, focus on work!_

Flack looked down and then back to her eyes nodding. "Glad to see you too, Stell."

Stella glanced only for a second at Mac and left the two men alone.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

Later on in the conference room all the team sat together to find their murderer. Stella, who stood near the screens, explained to the team what she and Danny found at the Crestridge psychiatric hospital.

"We found in his room, along with some clothing he saved there, drawing of three faces, which look exactly like the three victims we already discovered. Besides that, we found a few drawing of a place we haven't yet identified, and two drawings of more two faces, which can't identify yet. They could be our next victims."

"From the information on Hollis and his picture on the hospital folder, we know for sure, he is the compass killer." Danny added.

"I'll take the two undentified faces," Lindsay suggested "I can try and clear his sketches."

Mac stood in front of his team and the attention returned to him. "Adam and I will take his clothing, maybe we can find in it some clues to the places he has been."

"I'll join you," Stella immediately added. Adam smiled in satisfaction. Mac continued, "Danny, you and Flack will go to the address on the hospital folder, maybe he went back to his place and we can locate him there."

Danny stood up and gathered his things from the table.

"I want us to find him, as soon as possible. Every one of you, if you find or discover something new, you need to update us immediately. Anything can throw light on the case."

One by one, the team left the room to start to work on their part, Adam was the last to collect his things from the table and Mac and Stella stood looking at each other.

Stella knew she needed to finish it once and for all, but she didn't want to rush things either. Maybe she could give Mac the space he needed and then when all this was over, she would talk to him, even if she would need to tie him up so he would listen.

"You two," Mac spoke to Adam and Stella, "start work on his belonging, I will join you later."

Stella wanted to ask why but regretted, she just nodded and turned her face to Adam. "Coming, Adam?"

"After you." The young man signalled with his hand in a gentlemanly tribute.

Stella smiled and they both exited the room, leaving Mac alone. Alone with his conscience.

 _That's it? Aren't you going to ask why I'm not joining you?_

 _Mac! You should be proud of yourself, you focused on the work!_

 _But Stella…?_

 _Leave Stella! She lived her moments and now she moved on, she succeeded in breaking the circle. Let's find this creep and make the city safe again!_

Mac wanted to feel complete with himself, but he was in love with the impossible.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

Evening came along and Danny came to Mac's office to update him on the two new leads: that they had found trace which appeared to come from a public water treatment facility in Queens.

"Danny, go to Adam and find out about his traces. I got the feeling we are closing to find where he is. I can't let it escape from our hands again," Danny turned to go. "Wait! Take his drawing too." Danny took the pages from Mac's hand and ran to the computer room. On his way he almost bumped into Stella, on her way to Mac's office.

"Hi, what was that about?" She asked curious while entering his office.

"Adam, Hawkes and Danny founds some new leads, I gave them the places he had drawn, and maybe they can connect it all together." Mac answered in coolness.

"Good, I was just passing by Lindsay, she progressed well on the identified face drawing, only on one of them, but you can see it's a woman."

"His wife?"

"I don't think so, the woman figure doesn't have such long hair like his wife had, it's a little longer then her shoulders."

Mac frowned. "It could be anyone, we know his victims had nothing in common with him or his wife's death, they are only in his imagination and look like a real people."

"True, but maybe those people can bring us closer to him," Stella said while passing his desk. She didn't know if that was a good idea, but that was what her guts told her to do. By the time Mac opened his eyes, Stella stood in front him.

"Don't worry, we're going to find him," she said to his worried face.

Those words meant so much to Mac, he was so glad he could feel his best friend so close to him again. But, in spite of it, he was careful. He stared into her eyes and saw something deep, new, he assumed it had nothing to do with _him_.

Stella held herself too, she was sure she could correct his misunderstanding in two sentences, but she was afraid Mac would escape from her again, so she just looked at his ocean-grey eyes, trying to forget the case, and help him like she always had, only by looking into his eyes, calming him with her soft gaze.

It felt like time had no meaning, like they were in a dream far away from the lab. All the sounds slowly disappeared, and the only people were them, up on the clouds.

They stayed in this position, holding each other's gaze for a few moments until Mac broke the silence. "Did you want to tell me something during the day?" His mouth spoke without planning, even Mac was surprised by his words.

Stella couldn't believe her ears. She was sure she had imagined his words, but then Mac's voice spoke again.

"Stella? Did you…?"

"Yes, I did," some mysterious power gave her the courage to speak. "I wanted to…"

"BOOM, boss!" Danny appeared from nowhere, surprising both Mac and Stella with his shout. They both looked at him, disappointed about the moment vanished. Especially Stella who was glad Mac gave her the opportunity to explain. On the other hand, Mac wasn't sure he wanted to hear her confessing she was in love with someone else.

"We think we know where to find him!" Danny said enthusiastically.

Mac looked at Stella, his eyes said it all.

"Go…" she answered him.

"But…?"

"Go, we'll talk later, go get him."

Mac nodded then passed her, took his coat and ran with Danny to the catch their suspect.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

In Flushing Meadows Park, Flack, Mac and other undercover cops were trying to find their suspect by the dots they connected together. Flack was using the picture to interrogated people if maybe they saw Hollis Eckhart around the park. Mac was looking around punctiliously, hoping he could identified him if he sees him. The park was full of people but Mac wasn't going to give up.

All of a sudden, Mac noticed one man who came closer to a filling spout at one of the buses, the man was wearing a black hood and he held a red tank, Mac couldn't see his face. It immediately drew Mac's attention and he looked at Flack to sign him, to observe that man too.

That man put down his back pack and glanced back to see if someone was watching him. The moment Mac saw his face, he recognized him, their looks met and Eckhart knew he was being watched.

 _"That's him!"_ Mac called to alert every cop.

Eckhart begin to run away and Mac started to run after him. Flack updated dispatch while running after him too.

It was dark and surrounded by many trees, Mac tried to run after Eckhart and Flack followed him, even helicopter was flying to help them find him. They came to the fountain following him, but after they didn't see him there, Mac signed Flack to circle the fountain.

"Have you seen him?" Flack asked Mac after he had finished circling it.

"No, you?"

"No."

"Air team, any sign of him?" Mac spoke to the communicator.

"Negative, sir."

Mac's face was grim "I want every inch of this place searched, we will find this guy!"

But it seemed like Eckhart had disappeared into thin air.

xxxCSI:NYxxx

Day-light came and cops were everywhere. Stella got a phone call early in the morning from Flack, who explained to her what happened and she rushed to the scene. When she finally arrived, Flack met her and with his eyes he motioned for her to take a look at Mac, who now gave orders to the cops before the new search.

Stella patted Flack's shoulder and walked over to where Mac was standing. She stopped in a place where she could sense Mac without taking too much attention.

Although Mac was trying to give the cops motivation, from her position Stella saw that he was tired and almost hopeless.

But, their suspect was under their noses, they couldn't see him, but he saw all the occurrence from his hidden place, and he had _his_ plan.

Mac had decided to help search the place with Flack, Stella, and together with the other cops. Each one going in a different direction, they searched with every item of equipment available to them.

In the middle of his search, Mac had a heavy feeling, he didn't understand really why. All he knew was that he wasn't going to stop the search without finding him, no matter how tired and frustrated he was.

"Did you notice something?" Mac asked Flack when he met him after an hour.

"No, not a sign."

"And Stella?"

"Didn't see her from the moment we split".

"I'll call her, see if she found something." Mac picked up his cell and pressed his first speed dial.

After a few seconds he ended the call. "That's strange…no signal. Maybe she didn't bring it with her."

Flack shook his head. "It can't be, I talked to her when she was on her way here."

"Try to call her from your cell, please," Mac said and bend a little under the trees to see if he sees her by sight. When he didn't, he stood again and looked at Flack.

The young detective said no with his head after he dialed the number, not a ringing sound was heard.

When Mac understood she couldn't be reached, he felt the heaviness from before getting worse. Mac tried to erase his fear from his mind _._ But the look on his face said to Flack something else.

"Mac? You don't think…"

Mac tried to avoid their conclusion, when all of a sudden, his cell phone rang. Mac answered it immediately, not sure who was it on the other line.

"Taylor."

"Mac, its Lindsay. Is Stella with you? I can't reach her on her cell, is she near you?" she asked in concern.

"No, why, has something happened?"

Lindsay tried to avoid his question. "When did you last hear from her?"

"We started to search about an hour ago. And now she hadn't answered me or Flack…"

"Do you want me to try to locate her cell phone?" Lindsay asked, and again Mac sensed there was something wrong.

"Lindsay, what is it? Do you know something we don't? I can sense it in your voice." Mac felt his pulse in his throat, his suspicion became worse.

Flack came closer to Mac to hear what Lindsay had to say too.

After a few moment of silence, Lindsay answered. "I…I just finished clearing one of the unidentified faces…"

Mac felt his heart fall like a stone, he closed his eyes. But he wished until the last second, he wouldn't hear his worst fear confirmed, from the other end of the line.

"Mac… that face he drew... it looks exactly like Stella."

 **TBC**


	8. Ain't no sunshine

**Are still with me?**

 **Thanks to the one and the only – Lily Moonlight :D**

 **Chapter 8: Ain't no sunshine**

She was dizzy, had no idea where she was or how she got there… the only thing she remembered was being hit by something on her neck and losing consciousness. Her head hurt like hell and she could see a stain of blood on her shirt. She was sitting and her hands were tied to the chair, so she couldn't move.

Stella lifted her head to look around her and saw her gun and her cell phone, but it was disconnected from its battery, both on the table. She couldn't get to it, it was too far, and at present, she felt powerless to try.

Stella tried to see if she noticed anything else or anyone, but after a moment she understood, she was alone. She believed she was in a place that belonged to someone, and slowly she connected the dots and realized she was at the compass killer's hiding place. Becoming increasingly scared, she recognized his drawings, his tools from the things she saw at his hospital room. And when that recognition came along she just wished Mac and the team would find her, and fast.

Mac… oh God, Mac… Maybe she would never see him again, she would never be able to tell him about her feelings, to tell him she was feeling the same as he was. A shiver past all over her body when she thought of this option.

 _Never to see Mac again…_

Mac must be worried sick. With that thought, Stella knew, she had to fight whatever she was going to face, she had to, she had promised herself she would not lose this opportunity.

Every time she thought about Mac - something woke up in her, gave her strength, she started to remember every little case they worked together, every friendly encounter they spent together, every soft night they touched each other… she closed her eyes almost able to be there for just a moment.

Suddenly Stella heard a rough sound coming from the hole in the wall next to her, she knew he was coming, she held her breath…

XXXCSI: NYXXX

Mac was in his office, although it was a daylight outside, he could only see darkness though his window. Four hours since Stella had disappeared and he wished they were wrong, that the compass killer had not kidnapped her, but the evidence was inarguable. They found at the park a syringe of Clonazepam like Eckhart had used before. All Mac could do was hope that Eckhart didn't want to hurt her like he did to his other victims.

Part of his heart told him not to lost faith, not give up, but he was terrified about the possible of losing his partner, the woman he loved so much. Although he knew she didn't love him back, he knew he needed to do everything to bring her back, back next to him.

Since the horrible call, when Lindsay had told him about her discovery, Mac had doubled the amount of officers at the park. He decided to come back to the lab and help them find Stella as fast as he could.

Now he sat in his chair and held the drawing with Stella's face in his hand.

Why her? _Why?_

Danny entered his office. "Hi, boss".

Mac heard Danny but he kept looking at the paper in his hand.

Danny continued. "Mac? Lindsay finished with his other drawing…it's him, it's Hollis Eckhart, he drew himself."

Mac turned his chair to Danny and looked directly at him "He drew himself? Why? Is he going to ki…" Mac was unable even think of that option, "…to hurt Stella and then kill himself?"

Mac stood up from his chair and went over to the window, looking down at the city beneath him. He couldn't believe how things had gone wrong so fast, only days ago he was with Stella in heaven and now he felt in hell.

Watching him, Danny knew how much this situation was affecting Mac, although he didn't say so out loud. He knew how much Mac and Stella were connected, he couldn't image his friends in these circumstances, so Mac and Stella? What they had was beyond friendship.

"I can't help the feeling that he already done something to her, we knew his behavior, what he had done to his other victims…"

Danny came closer to Mac "Me too," he stood near him, "But Stella, she is a fighter and I'm sure she won't give up that easily."

Mac released a quiet laugh, he knew Danny was right, Stella definitely was a fighter, but he didn't forget her other part, her delicate, and vulnerable part, something he knew more than anybody else.

"Danny, I want my partner back." Mac said while trying to keep his voice stable.

"Yes, sir. I promise you, we will do everything to bring her back." Danny put his hand on Mac shoulder, when all of a sudden they heard Mac's cell ringing.

Mac glanced to Danny and went fast to pick it up.

"Flack? Tell me you found her."

"Mac… we have a new body on the river…"

"I'll send somebody to the scene, right now everyone is trying to find Stella."

But Flack didn't respond, Mac could hear Flack's breath stopping for just a second, as if he was trying to tell him something but he didn't have the courage.

"Flack? Did you hear me?"

"Mac, I need you here, I think we… we found her…"

XXXCSI: NYXXX

All the way to the scene, Mac drove like someone who didn't know where he was driving. Flack had told him that they couldn't identified the body because it's condition, but by her hair and body structure, he had thought it was Stella's.

 _How stupid I was in not listening to her when she wanted to talk to me, I had more time to be with her and I lost it..._

Mac found himself begging with all his heart, something he had not done for a very long time.

 _Please, God…please….I didn't have the chance to tell her how much I care for her, please, let it be a mistake, don't take her from me, I'm begging…_

The ride took him 10 minutes, but it felt like much more. He kept wishing that it was all a bad dream, a nightmare.

When he finally arrived, he turned off the engine off and stayed in his vehicle, eyes closed. When he opened his eyes he saw Flack walking toward him.

Mac opened his door for him. "Flack, please…"

"I wish I could tell you I was wrong, but it looks like her…" Flack said unable to look directly at Mac's eyes.

"How did you know it's her? Did you recognize her clothes she was wearing the last time we saw her?" _Please say no…_

"She was without any clothes, but they covered her already."

Shivers past in Mac's body when he heard him.

"Sid was here, he took a few tests but I thought you wanted to see her, before they take… her body."

Mac closed his eyes imaging his Stella in front of him, smiling. He just couldn't believe this was happening, he was devastated. "I can't Flack, I just can't see her like that…"

The young man put his hand on Mac's shoulder, and with tears in his eyes he whispered. "I understand…I'll tell them to take her."

Flack moved away from Mac's car, and started to walk away.

"No! Wait!" Mac broke out from his car and ran toward where the body laid covered.

When he got to it, he applied to one of the guy who stood near it. "Let me see her upper right thigh."

The man recognized Mac immediately and turned to open the bag in front of them.

Mac took a big and noticeable breath, and looked at the man action still praying with all his heart. Flack already got there and stood near them with a puzzled look.

When the discovery was in front of their eyes, Mac almost lost his balance, he bent his head down and leaned with his hands on the gurney.

"Mac? Are you okay?" Flack asked worried.

Mac turned his head to Flack with tears in his eyes, smiling lightly.

"It's not her Flack…it's not her…"

It took him a few more seconds to gather himself and then he turned back to his car, still overwhelmed.

"What? How do you know? What did you look for?" he called out to him.

But Mac didn't respond or stop walking. Flack ordered the man to close the bag and then he ran towards Mac.

"Mac? Talk to me…what did you look for?"

Mac stopped in his place and turned back explaining, "Stella has a big scar on her upper right thigh…and this poor woman," he said while pointing back at the body, "doesn't have any." Mac glanced to Flack for the last time and then turned back to his vehicle.

Flack froze on his spot wondering how the hell Mac knew that fact, but he guessed Mac had enough for now already. He released all his breath and watched Mac getting into his car and driving away.

XXXCSI: NYXXX

Hollis came like a storm to his underground home, he began to throw things all over the place, while Stella watched him, terrified, trying desperately to think about a plan to escape. But her head hurt distractingly and she was scared, like she had never been in her life, facing a killer when she could do so little to protect herself.

Hollis was possessed, he screamed and cursed in anger, in spite of it he didn't pay attention to Stella, apparently forgetting she was there.

"I can't get out of here! They are all over! I hate them! I hate them!" he shouted while throwing a lamp at the window in front of him, smashing the glass.

Stella tried to hold back from the glass fragments but she hardly could move, luckily for her, it barely touched her.

In one moment Eckhart turned back and noticed Stella. When their eyes met he suddenly become calm, he was a different person from the moment he saw her.

"Hi baby…" he said gently and came closer to her. Now Stella could see well his face scars. "I'm so sorry, did I scared you?"

Stella didn't understand why he was calling her like that, who did he think he was talking to? His wife? She couldn't say anything, she just prayed with all her mind and soul, _Mac, where are you? Please come fast…"_

Hollis bent over and put his head on Stella's knees and caressed her thighs gently, Stella held her breath, and her body trembled from his touch.

"Don't you worry," he continued "I'll get us out of here, nobody will ever find us, baby."

 _You have to be strong Stella,_ she tried to encourage herself. _The team will be here as soon as they can, you have to be brave._

Stella looked around trying to find something that could help her, and then an idea came to her mind, she decided to wait until the right moment.

But Hollis was totally in his world, he lifted his hand and starred at her with a caring look. "You know what? I've got an idea." He stood up and arranged a little his bed, he turned off slightly the light and came back to where she sat. Then he bant again to his knees and held Stella's face in his hands.

 _Whatever he was planning, hold yourself, you have to, Stella._

He kissed her neck. Tears stood in Stella's eyes and she struggled, to get free from the tying but it was useless.

"Now we are going to make love for the last time here in our bed, and then we are out of here."

Horrified, Stella knew she had only one chance, she didn't want to make him understand she wasn't who he thought she was.

"Hollis…" she called him to get his attention.

Hollis opened his eyes and looked straight up so he could see her clearly.

Stella looked him in his eyes and saw so much sorrow and evil in the same time, she felt sorry for what he had to suffer and again she didn't forget the things he had done after his wife's death.

"Yeah, baby?"

Stella took a deep breath. "Maybe…maybe we should get out of here, we are wasting out time, they can get to us, while we…" Just the thought of it made her sickened, "we are in the… bed."

He smiled evilly and leaned back to kiss her neck. Between kisses he said. "Don't you worry, it would take them time to get here, in the meantime we would say goodbye to our bed…I missed you…"

 _Don't give up Stella, you have to gather yourself, for you, for Mac…_

"But Hollis, it isn't fair you can touch me and I can't touch you…maybe you can release me?" she tried a different option.

Again Hollis stopped and looked at Stella's eyes, she was scared from his reaction but then he surprised her and replied. "You're right baby…"

Stella kept her frozen look, so he wouldn't notice, but she planned her way out as fast as she would be released.

First he untied her legs and then he got up and went back to untie her hands, but as he started he heard strange noise from outside that caught his attention and he stopped.

"What the hell...?" And like he was possessed again, he ran through the hole in the wall and disappeared.

Stella knew she had her one chance and tried as hard as she could to free herself and in the meantime to get herself closer to her cell phone and weapon. All the time, she kept looking back to see if Eckhart was coming back. Somehow she succeed in releasing her left hand but the moment she held her gun, some sound scared her and it flew under the bed.

Cursing her clumsiness, she nonetheless calmed herself, telling herself to focus on her cell and calling Mac…

With her free hand she succeed in connect her battery and switching her phone on.

"Fast…please…" It took a few endless seconds until she could make a call.

She had no signal "Come on, please….come on…" she lifted her cell up trying to get a signal.

"One bar, that's enough…" She pressed on her first speed dial and put the phone next to her ear, "Answer, Mac, please…."

XXXCSI: NYXXX

"Hey, Sid," Lindsay said when she saw the doctor at her office door. "What brings you up here?"

"I understand Mac gave you the new case from the river, I have a few results to show you."

"Let me see…" Lindsay took the file from Sid's hand and read the below. "So, you think it's a suicide case? I thought about this option too when I analyzed the evidence." She noticed Mac in the hall way. "Hi Mac." She signed him to come inside.

"Sid's conclusion about the woman in the river, is also suicide." Lindsay told him as he entered the room.

Mac exchanged looks with both of his colleagues while reading the file Lindsay passed him. Lindsay looked at him with sadness, she knew how difficult this all was for him.

"And to think we thought it was Stella, God…" Sid said.

Mac glanced at Sid when he heard Stella's name he was too tired to even answer him.

"Can you close the case, Lindsay?" Lindsay nodded and Mac left them alone.

"Speaking of which, should we call Brendon and let him know about Stella?" Sid asked Lindsay, like it was an obvious thing.

Overhearing Sid's question, Mac paused and stood where he could hear them without being seen.

"Brendon? Brendon Walsh?"

Sid nodded. "Yeah. I saw them kissing yesterday morning at the John's café, I suppose he cares for her."

Mac lowered his head, his heart wanted to get out from his chest, he wished he could forget his feelings for Stella. Sid's words had punched his heart like an arrow. Turning away, he wasn't going to continue hearing their conversation and suffer more than he had already suffered, but what Lindsay said next caught his attention again.

"Kissing? You mean the only time he jumped on her and she told him to never do it again?!"

Mac opened his eyes, and ears.

"So, you're saying that I misunderstood the incident?"

"It was nothing to her, Sid. Stella told him never to do it again, they are friends and she wants to keep on being just his friend and nothing more."

"I see, I'm so sorry for being such gossipmonger, I'm not like that usually." Sid made a shy face and collected his papers.

Now Mac was berating himself.

 _That's what you wanted to tell me, Stella? And I didn't want to hear you…I'm such a fool. I can't believe it, and maybe now I will never have the chance to see you and ask for your forgiveness…_

"I better go and continue my work, see you later, Lindsay." Sid said.

Mac realized he was about to get caught, so he started to walk fast to his office.  
When he entered his office he closed his door behind him. Then he walked towards the opposite wall and leaned his forehead on it. He was so mad with himself that he punched the wall as hard as he could.

"My Stella, will I ever got to see you again and tell you how much I'm sorry?"

All his body hurt and he wanted to wake up from the nightmare he was in.

"Please Stella, give me something to hang on to, to find you, I promise I will do anything for your forgiveness," Mac whispered to himself.

Like somebody from above heard him, his cell phone rang. Mac pulled it out from his pocket and like in a dream he saw Stella's name flashed on the screen. He answered immediately.

"Stella?!"

"Mac! help m…" the call suddenly disconnected.

"Stella? Stella? Where are you?"

Mac tried as fast as he can to call back, but again and again he didn't get a signal.

"Damn!"

He rushed to pick up his office phone.

"Adam, Stella just called my cell from her cell phone, try to locate the call, fast!"

"Right away, boss." The young lab tech said.

Mac waited on the line, hoping to hear good news from the other side. _She's alive, thank you God. Stella hang on…_

"Sorry boss, I can't get a signal, apparently it was again disconnect from its battery."

"I can't believe it!" Mac shouted.

Lindsay burst into Mac's office. "Mac? Did you just speak with Stella? Did I hear you talking to her?"

Mac looked at her and put back the receiver in its place and leaded back in his chair, hopeless.

"I can't believe it, she just called me and suddenly the line went dead." Mac rubbed his forehead. "She was saying 'help me', but something interrupted her. I'm worried that now he saw her calling." Mac tried hard to contain his fears. "Damn! We looked everywhere, we are using the best equipment and still, I can't help the feeling she is right under our noses…" then like a lighting bolt Mac understood "Under! Lindsay, I know where to find her!"

 **TBC**

 **The next one, is the last one…**


	9. For once in my life

**I know, I disappeared, but here I am with the last chapter of this story, which was born on a special night in my head.**

 **Thanks to all the followers and readers who dedicated their (busy) time to connect to my story and write a comment every once in a while.**

 **And the most important thing thanks to my lovely friend, who never gave up on me and always sent me her dear encouragement to write about this special couple. Thanks Lily Moonlight for everything!**

 **Chapter 9: For once in my life**

"Answer, Mac, please…."

The few seconds while Stella waited until Mac answered were endless. She focused on the sound from the other side and waited to hear the voice of the person she knew would help her no matter what.

"Stella?!"

"Mac! Help m…"

Stella didn't succeed in finishing her sentence, because while her attention was elsewhere Hollis had sneaked behind her, snatched the device from her hand and smashed it on the wall next to them. The only chance was lost.

Stella turned around terrified.

"Please, let me go…"

Hollis was furious. "Who did you talk to?!"

"Please, let me go…we can help you…" Stella was bargaining with her life, now her last chance was gone.

"I don't need help!" he protested. In a split second, he took her hand and turned her around, Stella was fighting the pain in silence, while he released her other tied hand.

She stopped breathing, waiting for Hollis's next move.

Hollis guided her to the bed and pushed her on it. Stella released a quiet cry.

"When I say, I don't need help, I mean that!" he said while he tied her again to the back of the bed. "Now you are going to stay here until we escape this apartment, and then…say goodbye to this world..."

Stella leaned on her elbows, trying to fight with the rest of her power even though, she was hurt, tired and hopeless. "Please…I don't want…" Hollis didn't want to hear anything, he punched her face with the back of his hand and Stella lost consciousness.

Hollis didn't even pay attention to what he had done, he simply went to the other room and took the ropes, to prepare for his next actions.

XXX CSI:NY XXX

"We don't have much time," Mac explained quietly to the team next to him, while he tightened the vest to his body. "We know he is holding Stella and we can only hope she's still alive." He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at his watch. "It's been almost 30 minutes since, Stella made the call, so let's hope he's still in this area. We need to be focused and fast, he's dangerous and likely armed."

Flack stepped forward. "How do you want to play it?"

"Adam sent us the blue print of the underground tunnels, we guess he is keeping Stella in this big area," He pointed to the place on the map. "Here we have two exits, you and your team take the north side and my team the west one. Danny will stay here with another team in case Hollis tries to escape. Remember, he obviously knows this place better than us, so we need to keep it quiet as much as possible."

Mac was trying to be reasonable although he was scared, fearing the worse. He hung onto the fact that he heard his Stella, and hoped with all his heart that he would see her again, soon, alive. He had no idea what he would say to her when he saw her, maybe everything, maybe nothing at all. But now more than ever, he knew how important in his life she was and how he could not lose her.

But outwardly calm, all Mac said was, "Okay people, let's find them, and be careful."

Flack and his team began walking to the exit Mac had guided them to, slowly and carefully. Everything was dark and they kept in silence in case their compass killer was around.

Meanwhile, Mac and his team were preparing to go to the west hole, but while they were standing behind some trees, this exact exit, opened up and a man's face appeared. Mac held his hand back and looked at Danny who paid attention to the figure also. Danny and his team hid under some shrubs so the figure wouldn't notice them.

Mac recognized Eckhart immediately.

Eckhart looked around, clearly not realizing he was surrounded. "I just need to wet the ropes and then, I'm out of here." They heard him say to himself while he exited the tunnel alone.

"Flack," Mac whispered to Flack's earphone "It's him, but I can't see Stella. Wait until he is out, and you go find Stella, Danny and I will take care of him."

"Copy that."

Mac could feel his pulse in his neck, but he needed to pay attention to every move their suspect made.

"Danny, I will confront him and you surround him, don't let him escape."

"On it, boss." Danny motioned to his team to follow him and slowly.

Armed, Mac stepped out in frond their killer.

"Hollis Eckhart, you are surrounded, put your hands in the air!"

But Hollis was faster than they guessed, in the second Mac surprised him, he threw the ropes away and took his gun pointing right at Mac's direction.

But Mac had considered this option could happen. "It's over for you, put the gun down and get down on your knees."

"Don't you dare to tell me what to do! No one tells me what to do."

"I repeat, put the gun down and get down on your knees, you are surrounded, there is no way you are going to escape from here."

"Shut up! If you say another word I'll kill you. I'll kill you just like I killed her!"

For a second, Mac lost his balance, he felt his hand numbed. _Her? Stella? …_

"Who are you talking about?" Mac became stiff again although he was afraid to hear Hollis's answer.

"That's it! I warned you!" Hollis put his other hand on the gun and shot at Mac. However Mac was alert, and he shot in his direction too.

Hollis's bullet scratched Mac shoulder only a bit, but Mac's shot hit Hollis near his heart and he collapsed immediately on the ground.

Mac put his gun back in his holster and ran to Hollis's side, moving away the gun with his leg, he bent over Hollis, holding his shirt in fury.

"Where is she? Where is Stella? What did you do to her?"

Hollis was dying in Mac's hands, he tried to say something, but it was so difficult for him to breathe. After tense seconds, in his last breath Hollis succeed in saying "I…I killed her…I killed…love…" then he died in Mac's hands.

Mac let Hollis's body fall and his head dropped, refusing to believe "It can't be…"

Right behind him, Danny put his hand on Mac's shoulder. Stella is dead? How the hell would they deal with such a loss? How would they continue from here without Stella?

Mac stood up with the rest of his powers and whispered in the communicator, "Flack, did you find her? Did you see Stella?" Tears stood in his eyes.

But Flack didn't answer.

"Flack, please, answer me…" he repeated much louder than before.

When he received no response, he understood Hollis had not been lying.

Without moving his eyes from the ground so mad at himself, Mac walked away. He didn't want to hear Stella when she really wanted to explain, he didn't have the courage to tell her his feelings.

Suddenly between his mixed thoughts and sadness, he heard somebody calling him.

"Mac!"

Mac stopped in his place, was he dreaming? Was that the voice of…? He turned around to see his dream come true.

"Stella?!"

The thin, beautiful figure of his Stella ran toward him.

Mac ran towards her too.

When Flack saw their encounter, he smiled, happy at his decision to not mention anything to Mac through the radio.

When they finally met, Stella threw her arms around Mac's neck and he hugged her back, almost unable to believe she was here in his arms again.

Stella buried her face in his neck, sensing his body, relaxing herself from what she been though. Mac felt she was trembling, he closed his eyes and his tears found their way out from his eyes.

"I thought I would never see you again." Stella whispered still holding Mac.

"I'm so sorry it took us so much time to find you." He caressed her hair.

Little by little, Mac released his grip and put his hands on Stella's cheeks.

"Let me look at you. Did he hurt you?" He asked looking straight to her eyes, then he noticed the red spot on her cheek and his heart filled with pain, he felt responsible, he caressed this spot with his thumb.

Stella left for a second Mac's eyes to look at her arm, tears of fear stood in her eyes, but now she knew she was safe. She put her hands on Mac's, and looked back at him.

"It doesn't matter now." She held back her tears, almost smiling "All that matters is that it's over and he can't hurt anybody else."

Mac decided not to ask again what had happened, Stella would tell him when she was ready.

"I have something important to tell you," Stella said breaking the gaze from Mac's eyes.

Mac took his hands off Stella's cheeks but kept being close to her. He was curious, waiting to meet Stella's eyes again.

But Stella could not seem to find the right words, she played with her fingers like she always did when she was nervous.

After a few tense breaths, Mac was the first to speak.

"I'm so sorry I didn't give you the chance to explain the other day."

Stella narrowed her eyes trying to understand what he was talking about.

Mac continued. "Don't worry about it, I know what really happened, and I had no right…" Stella put her index finger on his mouth to make him stop talking, she understood exactly what he was trying to say, but it was her turn to speak…

"I love you," she said clearly, "I'm _in_ love with you Mac, I'm _totally_ crazy about you…" Stella smiled shyly, she saw Mac's face becoming pale and knew he didn't expect it.

Amazed, Mac felt cold and then warm right after. Had Stella just told him she loved him?

And something else…those words, they sounded so familiar to him …

Mac tried to recall the events, "Did you…did you hear me the last night we were together?"

Stella nodded still smiling shyly, playing with her fingers, trying to explain without looking in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't have a chance to tell you I felt the same…at the beginning I was shocked from your confession, I was sure I was dreaming, and then your phone rang…and…"

Stella had no chance to finish her sentence, because Mac's lips were suddenly on her's. She responded to his kiss immediately.

It was a gentle kiss, a kiss of longing, of two people who loved each other, and almost lost their chance to be loved again. Ignoring everybody there, Mac cupped Stella's face, and Stella put her hands on his nape, gentle touching his hair with her fingers.

After a few magical seconds, they disconnected from each other but their hands kept in their place. Embarrassed smiles were on their faces but they never left each other eyes.

"I'm so thankful, faith brought us together, to know each other, to be close to each other. You are the man of my dreams…"

Although Mac was glad Stella confessed to him, he answered in sadness taking off his hands. "I feel like I don't deserve you, I almost got you killed. I don't know how I could handle the fact that I almost caused the death of the woman I love so much…"

Stella took her hand and turned Mac's face softly, until their eyes met again. "Listen to me, Mac Taylor, you have nothing to be ashamed of, you are the most caring, intelligent, smart man I have ever known. And it was God's decision to make us live through these events." Then she held his collar shirt and continued. "I'm not planning to let you, the man I love and fought so much to be with, talk like that. Do you hear me?"

Mac heard every word, and little by little, his smile was back on his face. He adored the woman in front of him.

"I love you, Stella Bonasera, do you hear me? I love you and I want the world to know _that I- love-you_ , after everything we've been though, I'm not going to miss another second to be with you." Mac said in confidence.

"Good," she said in satisfaction. "Now kiss me, like only you know."

"Your wish is my command…"

Mac slowly closed the distance, but before he succeeded in kissung Stella, the paramedic interrupted them.

"Excuse me, Miss Bonasera? I just need to check you for a few minutes."

Stella looked at Mac, already missing what she didn't start.

"It's okay." He kissed her cheek "I have to finish a few things too and then I'll look for you."

Stella nodded in agreement and went with the paramedic, still with her look at Mac's direction. He bit his lower lip and smiled back at her.

XXX CSI:NY XXX

It had been 6 days since the team rescued Stella from the underground apartment of the compass killer, 6 days since Mac saw Stella. She felt exhausted after everything she had been though. So, she and Mac didn't meet, only texted once a day, mostly in the evening, when Mac asked her if she needed something or how she was feeling.

He missed her a lot but understood perfectly her causes, he didn't want to let her do something that would disturb her recuperation. He knew that when she was ready he would be able to see her, to hold her in his arms, to tell her the sweet words he was keeping only for her.

It was a regular day as Mac sat in his office, trying to concentrate on the file in front of him, trying to figure out some evidence they had checked four times already, when the doors of the elevator to the 35th floor, opened up. Mac didn't pay much attention to the figure who left the elevator and walked along the corridor. It was only when he heard the door to his office open that Mac lifted his head and met Stella's glowing face. He looked on her from head to toe, she looked beautiful, black knee thigh skirt, white blouse that fitted her like a glove, flattered her amazing curves. Her hair sat perfectly on her shoulders. And her scent…it drove him crazy.

"Hey," he said surprised from her un expected visit.

Stella didn't meet his eyes, she only pressed at his office phone, until the ringing sound stopped in exchange for Danny's voice.

"Yeah, boss?"

"Hi, Danny, Mac is taking 24 hours off, you are in charge."

"Oh, hi…Stella," they could hear Danny's smile though the line. "No problem, boss."

When Stella finished the call, she finally met Mac's smiling face.

"What are you planning for us, Miss Bonasera?"

Stella reached out her hand to Mac's, and he took her offer and stood up from his chair. "You'll see, Taylor." She smiled mysteriously.

Smiling in satisfaction, Mac followed Stella out from his office, unable to erase his curious smile. It was a long few seconds until the elevator's door opened up and Mac and Stella entered it in the same step.

Mac couldn't help himself, he turned Stella gently to face him and leaned on her body pressing it on the elevator's wall. Just in the same second the doors closed.

Stella felt every inch of Mac's body on her's and she loved that feeling so very much.

Arms circling her body, Mac kissed her gently on her neck.

Between his kisses he said, "If you are not going to tell me what you're planning for us, I might have to use my skill as an investigator."

Stella's body burned under his touch when she felt his hands reaching under her shirt. She really tried to hold herself, but Mac's acts took her balance.

"You can't be patient, huh?" She tried to move his hands from their caressing position, although she didn't use too much force, she missed his touch so much.

"So, last chance, are you planning to tell me and reveal your purpose?"

"Only if you behave yourself, mister," she said.

Mac sighed on her delicate skin, and took out his hands, moving them slowly on Stella's waist. He looked her straight in her eyes, embarrassed and contented at the same time.

"I'm sorry, Stella…I don't know what got in to me. I missed you so much and suddenly you appear in my office…and I couldn't help..." This time, Stella closed the distance and kissed Mac with all the passion she kept only for him. She devoured his mouth, and of course he kissed her back, loving her action and enjoying every single touch.

In between kisses Stella managed to say. "We are going to my apartment…closing the door…and not … opening it until you….pass…your 24 hours off….or more…"

Mac smiled over her lips. "I like that idea…"

"Although," Stella stopped only to regulate her breath, while she put her fingers on his swollen lips.

"Although…?" He kissed her fingers trying to breathe normally again.

"Although, I don't think we'll be able to get to the car, continuing like this."

They shared a giggle just at the same time their elevator arrived at the parking lot.

Mac took Stella's hand and guided her out of the elevator. His car stood near it.

He leaned her gently against his car, whispering in her ear, "I love you, my Stella."

Stella closed her eyes, enjoying his sweet breath over her skin. "I love you, too."

 **THE END**


End file.
